Tangled In Strings
by StarSpangledBucky
Summary: Pairing: Steve/Bucky Secret Agent AU Longer summary on the next page M for reasons
1. Longer Summary

_**Agent James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, one of S.H.I.E.L.D's finest agents and a loyal friend, has some big shoes to fill. His latest assignment is to be a watcher over an ex-agent, now famous business man, Steven Grant Rogers, an old friend. With Steve just across the hall, Bucky can keep watch all day, every day. Yet their first unfriendly encounter goes awry when Bucky is accused of spying. All tension held aside, starts the journey of a forbidden friendship, maybe even a romance that both Steve and Bucky find impossible to refrain from. However a secret from years ago, may just come back to haunt Steve. And Steve soon realises that they've met before, they were best friends, and Steve was in love with him. But how long can Bucky keep the secret hidden as Steve starts to shape his past back together, piece by piece?**_

_**"You saved my life once, sir. Back in 2009, in London, June the 7th," **_

_**"Bucky?" **_

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><p><strong>- AU - Secret Agent.<strong>

**- Bucky is post Winter Soldier.**

**- Steve doesn't recognise him as Bucky because Bucky had shorter hair and his new looks makes him unrecognisable. It's explained better in the prologue as to why Steve is like that. **

**- Brief Tony/Steve and I mean VERY brief, you'll see. **

**- Restricted because of sexual content**

**- The only canon things from the movies really is S.H.I.E.L.D and Bucky's arm and so on. **

**- Out of character moments, Steve is rather emotional. **


	2. Prologue - Project: Steve Rogers

**__**"Oh, take me back to the start." - The Scientist - Coldplay**__**

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><p><strong><em>May 11th 2014, S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters, Brooklyn<em>**

_Thick, black smoke surrounded him, suffocating and blinding him as he staggered through the burning building. His lungs were constricting his breathing as he coughed into the lapel of his suit, trying to feel for any doors to help him escape. It was 2009, and Bucky was on a mission for S.H.I.E.L.D, led by Director Phil Coulson. Everything had gone to plan, until one of his colleagues tripped an alarm, alerting their target. This stirred the entire building into a frenzy. Their target had escaped and the building was set alight. Bucky had been caught in the worst part of the building, trapped in a room for a while, before finding a hallway. He was fairly certain he was a dead man._

_"Bucky!" a strained voice yelled._

_Through the smoke he could see the figure of another S.H.I.E.L.D agent, one that was very familiar._

_"Steve!" he called back hoarsely._

_The floor below him creaked, shuddered and groaned, a red and black glow showing almost instantly._

_"Bucky!" Steve roared._

_The brunette felt the floor break away, his balance slipping as he fell backwards. That was until he felt a strong hand grasp his wrist for dear life. Blue, bloodshot eyes stood out from the blinding smoke, he was saved._

_"I've got you!" Steve exclaimed. "Till' the end of the line," he rasped, gripping Bucky's wrist tighter._

_Everything went black after that, the smoke proving too much for Bucky._

_"Bucky!" Steve's voice echoed._

His eyes snapped open as he gasped, sitting upright in bed, sweat running down his forehead. Around him he could see the bare walls of his temporary room at S.H.I.E.L.D. Bucky ran his hands through his mid-length brunette hair, letting out a sigh of relief, but fear as well. Every night for the past five years he was taunted by the memories of that night Steve Rogers saved him, yet it was that night where he lost his best friend too. Bucky recalled waking up in the medical ward at S.H.I.E.L.D, a hand grasping his warmly. They were best friends, inseparable even. That evening was when Steve quit, handing his gun and badge to Phil, before shaking his hand and thanking him. No matter how much Bucky pleaded for him to stay, Steve couldn't. He said something along the lines of 'I can't handle it anymore' or 'There's more out there for me, just waiting'. Bucky was devastated, torn...heartbroken. He cried that night, he let his stronghold down and sobbed into his hands as he watched Steve leave. They tried to keep in contact, but Steve seemed to have just disappeared off the face of the Earth. S.H.I.E.L.D had advanced tracking technology, but Steve was like a ghost, like he didn't exist anymore.

Bucky was completely different now. He still kept a firm hold on his emotions, as emotions only distracted him from his work. Yet when he was alone he would be overridden with sadness about Steve, playing with the dog tags the blonde had given him. His appearance had changed so much over the past five years. His hair was longer, compared to his short, messy style. An accident on the job left him with the loss of his left arm, which was replaced by a metal one, crafted by S.H.I.E.L.D with the logo at the top of the arm. There was horrible scarring from where it had been expertly attached, but Bucky saw them as reminders of how he pulled through it all. The arm was fully functional, picking up movements with signals in Bucky's brain, it was nifty technology. There was messy stubble on his face now, course hairs that were all prickly since he last trimmed it. Bucky looked so much older now too, back in 2009 he was twenty one, now he was twenty six, Steve would be twenty seven now. He was barely recognisable now, sometimes the other agents had to do a double take when they saw him. The brunette stayed on at S.H.I.E.L.D for the sake of Steve, because Steve would have wanted him to continue on.

"Agent Barnes, Director Coulson requires you to be at the debriefing room in under five minutes," a voice spoke, into his earpiece which he would keep on a lot of the time.

"I'm on my way," he replied, finger pressed to the device.

He swung his legs over the bed as he pushed himself up and sauntered over to a bag that sat in the corner. When meeting with Phil, he would have to wear his S.H.I.E.L.D uniform, which would consist of a long sleeve synthetic like shirt that hugged his torso and displayed the S.H.I.E.L.D logo and a pair of tight pants that hugged every rippling muscle on him, along with his combat style boots. He had a belt which a holster was connected to, yet he wouldn't need that. His mission uniform varied, sometimes it was a plain black and white suit, other times it was a black vest with buckles, armour on the side and straps, a black pair of cargo type pants and a heavier pair of combat boots. His right arm would be covered with a black sleeve, yet his left remained bare to display his metal arm. He'd also wear fingerless gloves for better grip on his guns. But sometimes that one would go as far as him having a leather type jacket over the top as well as a mouth mask and goggles. Bucky wasn't so fond of the suit, but he had to wear it, it was of great importance when needed.

"Three minutes Agent Barnes," the voice spoke again.

"Agent Hill, I'm going as fast as I can," he snapped, lacing up his boots.

"Apologies Agent Barnes, but Director Coulson says it is somewhat urgent," Maria replied.

"I'm coming now," Bucky sighed, grabbing his belt and gun, deciding he better take them just in case.

On his way to the debriefing room he slipped his belt and placed his handgun into the holster. Fellow agents greeted him with bows of the head or a kind smile as he passed by. Bucky had become somewhat of a leader after Steve left, because back then Steve was the leader, he was the one you followed orders from. His boots hit off the metal flooring with a clattering sound as he darted down several corridors before coming to the main room of the head quarters.

"Director Coulson," he spoke formally.

"Ah, Agent Barnes," Phil replied, sounding a little relieved at Bucky's presence.

"Agent Hill said this was urgent?" he questioned.

"Slightly yes, come over here please, you might want to sit down," Phil issued.

Bucky didn't like the tone Phil used when it was something urgent. It made him feel uneasy, unsure of what was to come. He decided not to sit, it couldn't be that bad. Phil gave him a concerned look, before flicking a few things up on a hologram, files, data and images.

"We've found Agent Rogers," he spoke calmly.

The brunette seized up, blood draining from his face as he stared at the images displayed. He began trembling as he sat down, nearly missing the seat altogether, but Maria was by his side in a split second.

"Easy there Barnes," Phil soothed. "I know it's a lot to take in," he added.

"H-how?" Bucky asked shakily.

"He just showed up on the radar, we tracked his mobile GPS. He's a well known business man now. Don't you read or watch the news Agent Barnes?" Phil queried.

"I-I never have time," Bucky wavered, his head falling into his hands.

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't fucking believe it. Five years and here he was, slouched in a chair, staring at photos of Steve, his old friend.

"He's changed," he issued.

Steve looked buffer than all those years ago, his blonde hair still remained, but it was messier. He used to have this keen interest for the 1940's and would usually have his hair combed and parted, He looked so much older as well.

"We've had news that he might be under threat. We aren't quite sure who is after him, but he is in danger. Barnes, we know how hard this must be. But, we need you to be his watcher, a bodyguard of some sort, without his knowledge of course," Phil explained.

"He wouldn't recognise me anyway. It's been a long, long time," Bucky choked out. "But my arm will be a dead giveaway with the S.H.I.E.L.D logo," he added.

"See, that's the thing. About a year ago Rogers was in a serious car accident," Phil replied. "He suffered amnesia, he can't remember much, he can't remember working for S.H.I.E.L.D, doesn't remember S.H.I.E.L.D at all actually," he continued.

"Does-" Bucky paused. "Does he remember me?" he asked.

"We aren't sure," Phil answered.

Bucky just nodded as he looked back at the images of Steve, his stomach churning uneasily.

"When do I start?" he questioned.

"Tomorrow at midday. You'll be moving into an apartment directly across from Steve. You can speak with him, and if he invites you into his premises, do it. But by no means are you to form a friendship with him. Your job is to protect, distractions will put you in danger as well as Steve," Phil informed. "We can't afford mistakes. I need you to report in every three days as well," he added.

"Yes Director," Bucky replied, standing from his seat.

He was dismissed shortly after a further debriefing, retreating back to his room. His fist smashed into the mirror of his private bathroom, glass jamming between the metal of his fingers. Bucky couldn't believe they found Steve. But what hurt the most was that Steve didn't remember anything, probably didn't remember him. Or so he thought.

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><p><strong><em>May 11th 2014, Stark Industries, Manhattan<em>**

"All I'm saying is, we need to think of better funding tactics. I mean, the one we have now is doing great. But we need to step it up to a higher level," Steve spoke proudly.

Meetings, he hated them oh so much, but he had to do it from time to time. After his accident a year ago, Steve struggled to find work. Hell, he couldn't even remember where he used to work. His memory was all so vague, broken bits and pieces here and there. Most of it was about his best friend Bucky, well, he didn't have one anymore really. He was informed three years ago that Bucky had been killed while on a mission from someone he didn't quite know, nor trust. Steve let it rot inside him for years, he still hasn't stopped grieving. It wasn't until he met Tony Stark, the head of Stark Industries, when things started to look up for him. He became a part of Stark Industries, Tony's 'right hand man', his 'wingman' and also something a little more than that. The brunette eyed him from across the table, twirling a stylus in between his fingers as he smiled coyly at the blonde. He'd mouth a cheeky 'You're doing great babe' at him, chuckling when Steve tried to stop himself from blushing. Once the meeting was all over, the room would clear and then Steve and Tony would be alone.

"You did fantastic," Tony hummed.

"I try my best," Steve mumbled.

"Hey," Tony mused, grabbing the blonde's hand. "You are the best, you have so much charisma, everybody loves you," he added.

Steve simply shrugged, slipping some documents into a folder.

"Stevie," Tony crooned, tugging his hand.

"What?" Steve sighed.

"C'mere," he whispered, fingers resting on Steve's jaw.

Steve turned, facing Tony as the brunette lent up and pressed his lips to the blonde's.

"Tony not at work," he groaned, pulling away.

Tony frowned as he stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're really angry today and I don't like it," he huffed.

"I'm not," Steve replied.

"Oh yes you are," Tony snapped.

"I'm not angry!" Steve exclaimed, voice cracking slightly.

"Because that totally wasn't angry," Tony mused.

Steve gathered up his things as he shoved it in his satchel bag, loosening his tie as he swung the bag over his shoulder.

"I just really need some time alone today," he sighed.

"What are you sulking about this time?" Tony questioned.

The blonde went rigid, brow creasing as he kept his back turned to the brunette.

"If you really need to know. Three years ago today I got told my best friend was dead," Steve replied, eyes watering slightly.

"Who Bucky? Christ Steve, you need to let it go. So you two knew each other, but did you ever really know his proper name?" Tony barked.

"No, from what I know, we had to address each other by whatever name we decided on. I stuck with Steve, but he went with Bucky. That's all I remember, I have amnesia still Tony, don't you remember me telling you this?" he spat.

"Clearly I wasn't listening," Tony muttered.

"Obviously not," Steve growled.

The tension in the room only seemed to escalate the more they stayed quiet. Steve's eyes were focused on the floor and Tony's were burning into Steve's skull.

"You know what Steve. I thought about this for a while. I thought about us, about our future. And you know what I saw? A broken future. You're not right mentally or emotionally Steve. I'm already messed up and I don't think I can deal with double that from you anymore," he issued.

"So what was that brief kiss for if you were thinking that?" Steve asked.

"I-" Tony paused. "I don't know," he added.

"Do you wanna' leave?" Steve questioned, voice cracking sadly.

"I think it would be best if we just went back to being business partners. I still need my wing man," Tony replied.

Steve shuddered, letting out a choked, broken breath as he quickly wiped a stray tear from his cheek. What hurt the most was how casual Tony was being about it, how happy and relieved he sounded. Steve had been used to a break up. But this one hurt the most, he'd been with Tony for quite a while. Now he was basically telling him to scram.

"Fine," he whispered. "That's fine with me," he added regretfully.

"See you first thing tomorrow?" Tony asked.

"Of course," Steve answered coldly.

Without another word, Steve left the room without Tony tagging along beside him like they usually did. His pace quickened as the tears began to fall furiously. Steve used to be able to hide all this emotion, but now he was far too sensitive and emotional. Tony was right, he wasn't right emotionally, he was broken, damaged. As he waited for the elevator he fished out his mobile and sent a text to his good friend Natasha Romanov.

_"I'm on my way home. Do you want to come over? Bring beer xx" - Steve_

He shoved his mobile back in his pocket as the doors to the elevator opened and he stepped inside, leaning against the far wall. Steve completely broke down then as the tears failed to subside. He wanted to remember his past, every last bit of it. So far it looked unlikely. His chest heaved as he tried to contain steady breathing. He still had the half an hour drive back to Brooklyn, depending on the traffic. Hopefully he could make it there in one piece.

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><p>Night rolled in and Steve was sat at his sleek, black piano, playing the tune of Coldplay's 'The Scientist' in perfect sync with the backing track. Music was a thing that allowed Steve to relax and go into a world of his own. Either his piano or guitar would be played if he was feeling angry, sad or inspired. Whenever he was happy, he'd sing. But he wasn't happy, not right now, so he remained silent and played an instrumental version of the song. Natasha was running a little late, but Steve was patient. His nimble fingers pressed down on the keys as he swayed gently, eyes closed as he just felt the music. Steve breathed, lived and fed on music. A quick knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts as he slowed down playing, before standing up as he made his way to the door. When he swung it open, he was relieved to see Natasha standing there with beer and ice cream.<p>

"Your favourite beer, your favourite double chocolate ice cream? This is your break up emergency stash. Whose face am I punching?" she questioned.

Steve couldn't help but laugh a little as he ushered her inside and took the beer and ice cream into the kitchen.

"Hey," she soothed, hand resting on Steve's arm.

"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered.

"Oh Steve," Natasha replied, rubbing circles on his back.

Tears welled in the blonde's eyes again, shoulders shaking as thoughts of this afternoon refreshed in his mind.

"Steve," Natasha spoke worriedly.

He shook his head as he turned around and wrapped Natasha up in a hug. Her boots gave her a good bit of height, so she didn't have to lean up much as Steve sobbed on her shoulder. She held him tighter, soothing him, telling him it would be okay. She'd helped Steve a few times with his memory recovery, she was a trained therapist after all. Steve considered her like a sister, she was a very important part of his life.

"It'll get better Steve. One step at a time. Tony wasn't worth it, he's a playboy. He always stays with someone then wants someone new," Natasha huffed.

"How did you know it was him?" Steve questioned, voice hoarse.

"I can just tell," she answered.

They pulled away as Steve wiped the tears from his eyes and swallowed the growing lump in his throat.

"All better?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah, yeah...the hug was nice," Steve whispered.

"Good, come on, let's crack open a beer and have some ice cream straight from the tub while we watch some comedy movies," Natasha chimed.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll get the beer and ice cream," Steve replied.

Natasha smiled softly as she sauntered over to the couch and sat down, throwing her legs over the arm of it, nudging a pillow under her back. Steve watched her flick through the movies he had on a USB, plugged into the TV, watching her smile grow at a certain collection of movies.

"Hey, how about Pirates Of The Caribbean?" she queried.

"Sounds good to me," Steve mused, popping the beer caps off.

"They aren't comedy, but who cares," she chuckled.

"Hey they're funny! Captain Jack Sparrow is the man!" Steve exclaimed.

"Whatever you say fan boy. Come on I'm waiting," Natasha complained.

Steve chuckled lightly as he grabbed two spoons and wandered over with the comfort items. He sat down, handing Natasha a beer as she cuddled into his side, pressing play on the remote. This is what Steve loved the most, having a friend there to comfort him. Yet big surprises awaited him, so much so they might turn his life upside down.

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><p><strong>AN: Prologue is just to introduce you to Steve and Bucky's lives and debrief you on what is happening. Later on, Hydra will be the threat on Steve and I'll be making up my own character to be the main leader of Hydra. Hope you enjoy. **


	3. Chapter 1 - Broken Memory

_**"Just take it like a man." - Strange Face - Tito & Tarantula**_

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><p>Bucky woke early the next morning, showered, dressed and packed, all in that order. He wasn't exactly going to miss his room at S.H.I.E.L.D. If anything, he was glad that he was getting out there into the world. Most of all, he was eager to see Steve up close. Although, he did dread it a great deal, knowing he would have to be incognito.<p>

_"You can speak with him, and if he invites you into his premises, do it. But by no means are you to form a friendship with him,"_

Phil's words stung like a burn, they had a friendship, long ago. Now it was basically lost, yet Bucky never really lost hope that maybe someday the pair would be reunited properly and wouldn't have to deal with boundaries. His sunglasses sat loosely on his face as he looked at some files on his lap. He had everything he needed to know about where Steve would go, who Steve would see. Bucky didn't recognise any of them, nor had he been given their names, just a clear view of their appearances. Back in their S.H.I.E.L.D days it was just the two of them. His eyes scanned over the pictures he was given, some back from when Steve worked at S.H.I.E.L.D, the time he had his hair parted and combed everyday.

"Agent Barnes," Maria spoke.

The brunette looked up, closing the folder as he tilted his head up, sunglasses being propped up in his hair.

"Yes Agent Hill?" he replied.

"How do you keep yourself together, knowing that you'll have to watch over an old friend, speak to him as if you've never met him before, someone who probably doesn't recognise you anymore?" she questioned.

"I don't," Bucky mused. "Because inside I'm hurting, and that's not keeping it together," he added.

"Understood," Maria answered, averting her gaze from the brunette.

The car slowed as they pulled into the underground car park of the apartment block, that Bucky would be living in. He breathed out slowly as he tucked the folder into his satchel bag, putting the strap over his shoulder. His clothing was casual, so not to raise suspicion, just a simple grey shirt, denim jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of converse hi-tops. It felt comfortable for once, Bucky felt normal.

"Good luck James," Maria issued.

Bucky looked at her, a small smile showing on his face.

"Thank you Maria," he replied.

She simply smiled kindly back at him, brushing her hand off his comfortingly.

"Agent Barnes, we've arrived," Phil spoke, Bucky's earpiece crackling a little.

"On my way sir," he answered.

He opened the door as he stepped out into the dim light of the underground car park, closing the door behind him. Phil stepped out of the car in front, sunglasses still perched on his face as he approached Bucky.

"We've supplied you with furniture and other essentials in the apartment. Your personal belongings are in there also," he informed. "And-" he paused, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a set of keys and a card. "This is the key card for your apartment. And these are the keys to your car which is just over there," he continued, pointing behind Bucky. "Enjoy it. Please make sure you check in every three days. We'll update you on our progress in finding out who is after Steve. Good luck," he added.

"Thank you sir," Bucky replied, glancing briefly at the sleek black and red Ford Mustang Shelby GT500. "I appreciate it," he added.

Phil gave a curt nod before he made his way back to the S.H.I.E.L.D car and disappeared inside. Bucky moved out of the way as he watched the cars leave, his metal fingers grasping the keys tightly. He looked around as his eyes fell on a door which led into a lobby, figuring that was the way to go. His eyes caught a familiar glint over a motorcycle, gaze falling on a shiny Harley. He knew straight away that it was Steve's and it made his gut churn, a memory flashing before him.

_"Really Steve? How much did that cost you?" Bucky laughed._

_"Couple grand, I saved for it though," the blonde replied._

_"Well it's certainly somethin'," he chuckled, clapping Steve on the shoulder._

_"We should go out for a spin on it one day, together," Steve mused._

_"One day Steve, one day," Bucky hummed._

They never went on that bike ride, Bucky didn't even get the chance to ask about it. He turned away as he walked through the lobby, looking like a lost puppy, eyes searching for the elevator. It was around the corner at the end, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as he called it down. Bucky was praying to the Gods that he didn't run into Steve, he didn't really feel well enough to see him yet. He swiped the card and pressed the tenth floor button, the doors closing quickly. The elevator was fast, Bucky was glad for that. He stared down at the floor, nerves twitching at him as he heard the metal structure shudder to a halt. The doors opened and Bucky stepped out, sauntering down to room thirteen, across from room twelve where Steve was. Loud laughs erupted from the room, causing Bucky to seize up as he fumbled with his key card. The sound of a door had him trying to shield himself as best he could, not daring to look behind him.

"Darling, you must visit my condo someday, you'll love it," a tender male voice spoke, a British twang in the mix.

"Maybe I will. One weekend when I'm free," a rougher male voice replied.

Bucky choked out a shuddering gasp. Steve still sounded exactly the same, voice soft, rough and velvety. His ears started ringing as he gripped the door handle tightly with his metal hand. He glanced to the side, catching a glimpse of Steve, heart dropping to his stomach. Steve still looked great in a suit, just like the good old days.

"I've got to run and I believe you have work. I'll let you go," the younger man spoke.

The brunette took note of his long, jet black hair, pale skin and tall slender frame, eyes masked by sunglasses. Bucky matched him to one of the files in his bag, he just didn't know his name.

"I'm going right now, I'll walk with you," Steve issued.

"Alright love," he chimed.

Steve grinned, shutting the door behind him.

"You look great today by the way," he mused.

"Oh Steve, you flatter me," the younger man chuckled.

"Would you have me any other way Loki?" Steve asked.

Loki.

Absolutely not," Loki gushed. "Now come along, you'll be late," he added.

"Fine, fine," the blonde huffed.

Bucky watched the pair walking down the way he had just been up, Steve playfully nudging Loki, who let out a small laugh. A boyfriend? Bucky thought. He would never have put Steve down for someone who swung that way. Yet who was he to judge? He kept it to himself, but Bucky had been feeling attracted to men for quite a while. But getting involved with romance would distract him from his job, he couldn't have that. His nerves finally relaxed as he got his door unlocked, looking back at Steve once more, seeing the blonde get in the elevator, before he retreated into his apartment. The door slammed and Bucky sank down to the floor, leaning against it, his metal fingers raking through his hair. He hit his head back against the door, covering his eyes with his hand as tears threatened to spill.

"Contain yourself Bucky," he hissed, biting his bottom lip.

Five years was a really long time to not see your friend, and seeing him now only hurt Bucky even more. He didn't want to feel like this, he wanted to scream at Steve and tell him he was here. But he couldn't, this was torture for him.

"Agent Barnes, are you safely in your apartment?" Phil's voice came over his earpiece.

"Yes sir," Bucky choked out.

"Is it to your liking?" he asked.

"It's great, thanks," Bucky replied.

"Agent Barnes, are you alright?" Phil questioned.

"No Director, I'm not. I...saw Steve," the brunette answered.

"I'm very sorry," Phil mused. "I truly am," he continued. "But please try and remain focused," he added.

"Yes Director," Bucky sighed.

"We will give you a moment to settle in," Phil issued.

"Just a moment?" Bucky questioned, frowning.

"We need you to be undercover for a few hours while Steve is at work," Phil informed.

"Jeez, the guy can't go to work privately?" the brunette scoffed.

"Agent Barnes this is a matter of life or death!" Phil scolded.

Bucky winced, letting go of his earpiece at Phil's loud yelling.

"I'll be ready in twenty minutes," Bucky answered.

"Good, inform us when you are on your way and we will give you the coordinates," he replied.

"Affirmative sir," the brunette mused.

He let out a groan as he got up from the floor and dumped his bag on the kitchen counter.

"Oh and please remember your badge and gun," Phil interrupted, yet again.

Bucky grumbled as he wandered around his apartment. He wasn't forgetful, did Phil think he was incapable? The brunette shook his head as he looked out of the balcony window, breathing in the fresh air. This was going to take a lot of getting used to for him. If only he could rekindle his friendship with Steve.

* * *

><p>The trip to Manhattan took Bucky longer than he had intended. He stupidly got stuck in the rush hour traffic and didn't make it in until half an hour after his initial arrival time. Phil of course had lectured him and Bucky simply rolled his eyes. He stopped outside a cafe that was directly across the road from Stark Industries. Bucky had heard of it, he heard of Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. His name was bitter on Bucky's tongue when he relaid it back to Phil. He'd ordered a coffee and breakfast, just so he didn't look completely suspicious or mysterious to those surrounding him. From where he was sitting he could see directly into the office where Steve worked, his sunglasses replaced by a high-tech pair that had zooming mechanisms in them. Bucky changed before he left, his attire casual, again to avoid suspicion. His metal hand was covered with a black glove, along with his other hand, a long sleeve jacket keeping his arm covered entirely.<p>

"Captain is in sight," he spoke quietly, just enough for Phil to hear.

"Great, keep close watch Agent Barnes," Phil replied.

"Yes sir," Bucky answered.

He lent back in the creaky metal chair, picking up his coffee as he took a sip. The brunette was like a hawk watching its prey, his eyes darting here, there and everywhere, whilst still keeping most of his attention on Steve. 'Captain' was a code name for him that Phil had given to Bucky to use when addressing Steve. It made Bucky snicker quietly to himself when Phil wasn't listening.

"Captain is on the move Agent Barnes," Phil spoke.

"I thought I was keeping watch?" Bucky questioned.

"You are, but we have eyes on you and him. I may have forgotten to mention that we would drop in from time to time to watch you both," he issued.

Bucky groaned, rolling his eyes as he looked up at Steve's floor, seeing a shorter man talking to him. He could only assume that he was Tony Stark. The brunette scoffed, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Getting in with rich guys huh Steve?" he whispered.

He squinted his eyes, watching as Steve threw his arms out in front of him, looking pretty angry. Bucky's eyebrow raised as he sat forward, hand resting on his thigh.

"What the hell?" he hissed.

Suddenly, he saw Steve being grabbed by his tie by Tony, his instincts kicking in immediately. His gun was tucked under his jacket as he rushed forward, getting ready to cross the road quickly.

"Agent Barnes stand down!" Phil yelled.

"But sir," Bucky replied.

"Mr Stark is not a threat!" Phil exclaimed.

The brunette's gaze went back up to Steve's office, his eyes seeing something that quite rightly made his stomach churn. Tony was pressed against Steve who was lent against a desk, their lips fused together.

"Oh god," Bucky gasped, looking away.

He had however completely missed the blonde pushing Tony away, arms flailing about again. Bucky was lent against a lamppost, fingers curled into his brunette hair. He'd just seen his best friend all over a guy, making him feel embarrassed and a little upset. He was upset from thinking that maybe that's all Steve left S.H.I.E.L.D for, to be with rich, egotistical men who probably just used him as some kind of show off trophy boyfriend.

"Agent Barnes?" Phil questioned.

"Here sir," Bucky answered shakily.

"What did I say about getting distracted?" he asked.

"Sir, I agreed to keep close watch on Steve. I did not agree to watch him get all 'touchy feely' with another man," Bucky snapped.

"That's besides the point. You could be seeing a lot worse," Phil answered.

Bucky almost gagged, gut churning again. He didn't sign up for this.

"No matter what is going on with Steve. You must remain focused. If he dies, you only have yourself to blame," Phil informed.

"Understood," Bucky sighed.

His head tilted up as his gaze fell on a man standing a few metres away from him. There was a suspicious vibe around him and Bucky immediately straightened up. He placed his fingers to his earpiece, eyes still on the tall figure.

"Sir," Bucky spoke. "I've got a suspicious target at twelve o'clock, he's staring directly into Captain's office," he added.

"Follow him," Phil ordered.

"Yes Director," Bucky replied.

He pulled his gun from under his jacket, keeping it out of sight from citizens as he kept a close eye on his target. The gentleman moved, striding across the road, Bucky hot on his tail, keeping himself as shielded as possible.

"Steady Barnes," Phil issued.

Bucky's breathing was slow and laboured, heart pounding in his chest as he continued walking. As he reached the final crossing, the tall figure turned, gun pointed at Bucky. The brunette pulled his gun out at that point and held it up also.

"Who do you work for!" he yelled.

Citizens stood around as cars stopped, the brunette pacing toward the other side, slowly.

"I said who are you working for!" he roared.

A wry smile crossed the man's face as he turned the gun on himself, aiming for his chest.

"Agent Barnes stop him!" Phil exclaimed.

_Bang!_

Bucky flinched, eyes darting to the man who now lay in a pool of his own blood. Several women screamed as Bucky rushed forward and pressed two fingers to the man's pulse point.

"Nothing," he whispered, fingers up at his earpiece. "Sir, he's dead," he issued.

Meanwhile, on the forty third floor of Stark Industries, Steve was interrupted by the gunshot that ran through the street. He and Tony were in a heated argument after Tony tried to win Steve back, somewhat, until the gunshot stilled the fight.

"What the hell is going on?" Tony questioned.

"Some guy just shot himself," Steve replied, peering out the window.

"What? You're joking," Tony answered.

"I'm serious Tony," Steve barked.

The brunette rolled his eyes as he walked over to the window and looked out also.

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed.

"That's sad," Steve sighed.

"Yeah? Well, sometimes it's the only way out for some," Tony replied.

Steve shook his head as he moved away from the window and sat down at his desk. He ran his hands through his hair, the adrenaline of arguing gone, feeling Tony's presence from behind him.

"Tony," he groaned.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I said we were finished. I mean it this time, I just missed you last night," the brunette mused.

"Please don't," Steve hissed.

Tears were stinging at his eyes again. The very thought of Tony just being there was upsetting and angering him. He didn't need Tony's sympathy, he didn't need anything from him anymore. But Tony was far too manipulative to let it go yet.

"I'm not in your life anymore, not romantically anyway. I'm only in your life now because I work here and we have work to do," Steve issued.

"I could easily fire you," Tony replied.

"You wouldn't," Steve scoffed.

"Oh wouldn't I?" Tony protested.

"No, because you need me," Steve retorted.

Tony grinned coyly, fingers tracing the back of Steve's neck, causing him to shudder.

"I said stop," he whispered.

"Deep down you don't want me to, when did you ever not want me to," Tony crooned.

A knock at the door pulled Tony away from his manipulative flirting as he stepped away from Steve.

"Come in," he replied.

"Sir, the building has been locked down for a few hours," a security guard informed.

"Thank you," Tony answered. "We'll stay here," he added.

"What happened exactly?" Steve questioned.

"We aren't quite sure sir," the guard replied.

"Alright," Steve mumbled, turning his attention back to some files.

The guard left the room as it fell completely silent, save for Tony's shallow breathing.

"Y'know," he paused.

"Don't speak," Steve snapped.

"We're stuck in here for a few hours, just us," Tony continued.

The click of a lock had Steve freezing on what he was doing as he looked up.

"We could do some work, maybe mix it with some pleasure," the brunette added.

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat as he saw Tony undoing his tie slowly.

"Just for old times sake," Tony purred.

"You can't expect me to give in after you broke my heart, told me I was a mess and made me cry for hours last night? Funny Tony, real funny," the blonde laughed sarcastically.

"One last bit of fun and we'll definitely call it quits. I'm sure you'd want someone different to little old me," Tony hummed.

His hands fell on Steve's shoulders as he started to massage them gently. Steve groaned.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he whispered.

"We won't speak about it again," Tony replied.

The brunette's lips brushed Steve's jaw, causing him to let out a shaky breath, fingers crinkling the files in his hands.

"Come on baby, you were always so good at making me scream," Tony soothed.

A clatter of a chair was the only audible thing in the room as Steve rose to his feet. Pens, files, books and other objects went flying off his desk. He grabbed Tony by the shirt, crushing their lips together as he spun him around. Tony groaned when he felt Steve's hips pin him on the desk, their teeth knocking together in a fierce kiss. Steve knew he would regret it later, he knew he would feel disgusted. And he knew he would have to tell one person who would give him the lecturing of his life.

* * *

><p>"Steven Grant Rogers what were you thinking!" Natasha yelled, throwing her arms in the air.<p>

"Keep it down Nat," Steve hissed, feeling eyes on him.

"I come over and comfort you last night and then you go and screw Tony in your office one last time. You're in so much trouble," she grumbled.

"I know, I feel horrible," Steve whined. "I feel horrible about it all," he added.

Natasha's face softened as she reached across the table and took Steve's hand in hers.

"It stops now, okay?" she questioned.

"I'll resign if I have to," he mused.

"No, don't do that," she warned. "You have to move on now. Try and remember that, that asshole humiliated you and called you a mess. None of that is okay," she added.

"I know. And thank you," Steve replied.

"Where are you heading after this?" Natasha asked.

Steve shrugged.

"Walk in the park maybe to clear my head, then I'll go get groceries. Maybe I'll drop in and see Loki," he answered.

"We need to have a get together soon, you, me, Thor, Loki and Bruce," Natasha mused.

"We do. I'll organise it one day," the blonde chimed. "Just, maybe not this weekend," he added.

"Why's tha-oh," Natasha whispered, seeing the sudden change in Steve's posture. "Bucky," she sighed.

"Yeah, the very first day we met. I felt that I'd visit the park we used to go to and I'd lay some flowers for him under our favourite tree," Steve explained.

Natasha smiled softly.

"Maybe you need to visit his grave too, you haven't been in a while. You need closure, I understand. And what you do is good, it's good for your mental emotions. I'm proud of you Steve. Really," she soothed.

"Thanks Nat," Steve replied, smiling back at her.

"I better go. I have a client in twenty minutes," she issued.

The blonde nodded understandably as he got up from his seat and went over to give Natasha a hug.

"Call me if you need anything," she offered.

"I will," Steve replied.

They pulled apart as Natasha waved kindly and took her leave. Steve let out a small sigh as he dropped a couple of dollar notes on the table and a tip, before going in the opposite direction of where Natasha went. Whenever he was left on his own he felt extremely lonely. Now with Tony out of his life it was even worse. He still couldn't get over his stupidity this morning, he was ashamed. That's why having Bucky around was great for him, but Bucky was just a memory now. Steve wished he could remember more about his friend, he wanted to remember.

"Because I'm with you till' the end of the line, pal,"

His jaw clenched at Bucky's words, taunting his mind with pain. They never made it to the end of the line, at least, Bucky didn't. The blonde took a shortcut down an alleyway, slipping his hands in his pockets to keep warm.

_Splash!_

Steve turned quickly, eyes looking around frantically for the source of the noise. Yet it seemed like nothing, maybe it was just him, so he ventured on. He had an eerie feeling in his stomach for the entire journey to the park. A part of him felt like someone was following him and they were doing a damn good job and keeping in the shadows. And ideally, there was, but it was only Bucky. He was asked to stay on watch for Steve while Phil dealt with the casualty. The brunette was still a bit shaken from the adrenaline that was running through him. Again, Steve spun around at the sound of a noise, and Bucky stealthily hid behind a wall, his breathing slow and shallow.

"I'm losing my fricking mind," Steve muttered.

As he came into the clearing of the park, a sense of relief washed over him. This was the place where he could feel content and happy. Bucky loved that look, even if he could only admire it from afar. The blonde wandered up a pathway and sat down on the wooden bench, looking out at the lake. Bucky stood on the hill a few metres away, resting himself against a tree. He felt that Steve was out of danger for now, but knew he had to stay. He just hoped he didn't have to go out and watch Steve everyday, it felt very invasive. Steve looked up at the clouds, smiling softly as a memory washed over him, one from way back.

_"Clouds are amazing," Bucky spoke._

_"Yeah? If only they weren't so far away to touch," Steve replied._

_Bucky snorted._

_"They'll probably feel like nothing, they're just wisps," he issued._

_Steve smiled as he looked over at the brunette, the sun shining on his skin, making it radiant. Bucky looked at him then, smiling also._

_"Punk," he mused._

_"Jerk," Steve retorted._

The memory faded and Steve was yet again dulled by the ache in his chest. He pulled a picture from his pocket as he stared at it. It was one of himself in Bucky, drinking in a bar after a job well done. They looked happy and comforted in each other's presence. A pain in his head caused him to wince as he lent forward, head clasped in his hands. When something came back to him, a part of his past, he would get headaches. However, apparently that was normal. This section of memory however was one he would hate the most, the one where he found out that Bucky was pronounced dead.

_It was 2011, a cold winter evening in Brooklyn. Steve had long since left S.H.I.E.L.D and was working at a local bakery. He had still kept in contact with Bucky, on rare occasions. His excuse was that he always had to work early, that he needed to keep his sleep routine in line. When a time came that he would take the day off, he would stay home and indulge in watching TV show re-runs or catching up on new movies. It was like Bucky was second best. A knock at his door had stirred him from his spot on the couch. When he swung the door open, he saw Maria Hill, who had tears in her eyes._

_"Maria?" Steve spoke._

_"I'm very sorry I have to say this Steve. And at such an ungodly hour. But, Bucky has-" she paused._

_"Is everything okay?" Steve asked._

_Maria shook her head as more tears fell._

_"I'm sorry. Bucky was on a mission, he got caught in the crossfire during it. I'm afraid that, he fell to his death," she choked out._

_Steve froze, his face paling as he fell against the door frame._

_"No," he whispered._

_"We can't recover his body, we tried, we really did," Maria issued._

_The blonde shook his head as tears started to pool in his eyes, his fingers racking into his hair. His body trembled as he slid down to the floor, head falling into his hands. Maria couldn't do much else, but Steve asked her to leave eventually. He didn't really care who heard him. Steve sobbed in the open doorway of his apartment, choked gasps leaving his throat as his hands shook violently. For months after that night, he mourned for his best friend. He drank until he passed out, he stopped working, stopped sleeping correctly. Then two years later he had his accident, and was left with nothing but a shattered past, a broken mind._

_"Bucky..."_

When Steve regained himself, he saw dark patches on his pants, from the tears he shed. Some memories haunted him, others made him smile from the good times he and Bucky had shared.

"How I wish you were here pal," he whispered.

The sun was starting to pass beyond the horizon and Steve figured that he should probably grab the groceries before it got dark. He had wished that he'd brought his Harley, but preferred walking most of the time. As he stood up, Bucky perked his head up from the picnic bench he had moved to, eyes locked on the blonde.

"Where are you going now huh?" he hummed.

He let Steve walk for a bit, before he caught up to him, keeping to the shadows. There was a reason that Bucky was one of the most valued S.H.I.E.L.D agents. And it was because of his stalking skills, he was like a cheetah waiting on its prey. It didn't feel right to be following an old friend, but he knew he would ease into a routine soon enough. His footsteps were quiet on the freshly mown grass as he kept up with Steve's pace. A million thoughts were racing through his head. What if Steve recognised him? What if he got caught out one time? How long would he be able to keep this up for? All the questions had turned his attention away from Steve, now realising that the blonde was nowhere in sight.

"Shit," he cursed.

"Agent Barnes, how is Captain?" Phil asked, voice ringing in the brunette's earpiece.

"Uh, Captain is safe," Bucky mumbled nervously.

"You lost him didn't you?" Phil questioned.

"Yes," Bucky sighed.

"Dammit Barnes! You're supposed to be our best!" the other man yelled.

"I'm trying sir! Okay! If you saw someone you haven't seen in years then you would probably feel as bad as me!" the brunette exclaimed.

His chest was heaving as he tried to hold back tears that were threatening to take over at any minute.

"You just don't understand," he choked out.

"Alright Bucky, it's okay," Phil replied.

Phil only ever used their first names when he felt guilty and sentimental. Bucky dropped to his knees as a sob escaped his throat, his eyes watering violently. No words could ever describe the pain he was in, emotionally. Every part of him just wanted to quit so he could be happy with Steve, so he could go back to being his friend.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" a soft voice questioned.

Bucky flinched as he turned around and locked eyes with a set of sparkling, emerald green ones. He knew him, not personally, but his face was familiar. Bucky then realised that the man before him was the one who was with Steve outside his apartment this morning, Loki. He was a lot nicer looking up close, and Bucky was glad to see what the colour of his eyes were for future reference, not that they were hard to miss.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," he muttered.

"Are you sure love?" Loki asked.

The brunette nodded as he stood up, brushing dirt off his jeans. Loki eyed him curiously as he wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck.

"You seemed a bit distressed," he spoke.

"You could say that," Bucky replied.

"Anything serious?" Loki questioned.

"I can't really talk about it," he answered.

Loki simply nodded in understanding as he clasped his gloved hands together.

"I'm sorry for bothering you," he issued.

"Oh no, really. Thank you for asking," Bucky mused.

The younger man smiled, holding his hand out.

"I'm Loki," he soothed.

_I know_ Bucky thought.

"James," the brunette chimed.

He took Loki's hand in his, shaking it firmly before letting go.

"Well James, it was nice to meet you. But I best be off. Take care of yourself darling," Loki crooned.

"You too," Bucky replied.

Bucky couldn't help but swoon a little at that British twang that Loki had. He had a bit of a strong liking for them. As he watched Loki disappear he looked around the park that was now fairly quiet. He guessed that most people didn't like wandering around there at night. However, Bucky could have walked around for hours.

"Agent Barnes, it's our clock off time. The rest of the time is your own. However, if anything happens we need to be informed immediately," Phil spoke.

Bucky pressed his fingers to the earpiece.

"Yes sir," he whispered.

"Have a good night," Phil replied.

A sigh of relief left his lips as he turned the earpiece off and closed his eyes. It was always a treat to not have Phil barking orders in his ear. As much as he admired the older man, sometimes he sounded like a nagging parent. Bucky looked up at the sky, the stars starting to line it, sparkling brightly. He could recall looking at the stars with Steve most nights, back in their S.H.I.E.L.D days, it was his greatest memory. He would always remember one line that Steve used to quote, one he had stuck in his head for years.

"The stars always guide you back to those most important," he mumbled.

His eyes followed a line of stars, ending just near his apartment building. At that moment, he smiled, a genuine smile, one he hadn't made in quite a while. With one last look at the lake, he started to make his way out of the park. He didn't plan on going home just yet, he felt a drink was needed. Yet he just wished Steve could be there with him...just like old times.

* * *

><p>"Get out of here!" a security guard yelled.<p>

"Fuck off I'm going!" Bucky slurred, stumbling down the steps. "Jeez," he sighed.

One drink turned into two, three...then to a record score of eight. Bucky wasn't a lightweight, but eight had him at least a little wobbly on his feet. He fell back against a wall and groaned, letting out a belch as he chuckled like a child. His vision was only slightly blurred, so he figured he could walked back home, regretfully having to leave the nightlife of Brooklyn, which he was enjoying. As he took a shortcut down an alleyway he hummed a song, shoes scuffing on the ground.

"Jesus it's cold," he whined, wrapping his arms around himself.

The walk home would have sobered him up as it was at least and hour walk, unfortunately. Bucky knew he was going to get so much crap from Phil in the morning, while he quite possibly nursed a headache. But having a few drinks felt good, it cleansed his sorrows and he seemed to become a cheery drunk. The dim light of his apartment could be seen when he turned the corner out of the alleyway.

"Home, sweet home," he sighed.

Bucky yawned loudly, moving his hands into his pockets to fish out the keys because the doors were locked for people who didn't live there, until the morning, unless you asked to get in. He swiped the card over the panel as the doors opened, his eyes narrowing at the bright lobby light.

"God, is the sun out already?" he huffed groggily.

A few people in the lobby stared at him as he walked by, some shaking their heads. Bucky scoffed as he pressed the button for the elevator and waited. He was exhausted now, eyelids dipped low, body limp on the wall. The elevator doors opened as he sauntered in, scanning his key card for his floor, pressing the 'close doors' button. Bucky felt awful, ashamed and disappointed. He was never like this when Steve was around.

"Steve," he sighed, eyes falling closed.

The elevator halted and Bucky grumbled, stepping out as he made his way to his door.

"God dammit," a voice cursed.

Bucky's eyes fell on a figure from the door across from his, crouching down to pick up his key card and keys. The brunette kept his head low, high tailing it to his door as he fumbled with the key card. His gaze aimlessly fell on Steve, the blonde turning also.

"Fuck," Bucky hissed.

Steve's eyes narrowed as he stared at Bucky. The brunette felt his heart pounding erratically, thinking that Steve must know. The blonde was giving him that strange look. But that whole feeling fell apart when Steve smiled kindly and waved. Bucky wanted to scream then, all hope lost, yet it was good in a sense, so he simply waved back. The exchange was silent, yet friendly, before Bucky managed to get the door open. He disappeared inside, locking the door as he slumped against it, sliding now, groaning and having a bit of deja vu from this morning.

"You idiot Bucky," he cursed.

His fingers slid through the silky brunette strands on his head, before grasping a bunch of them tightly in his hands. The alcohol was starting to wear off now, a thousand emotions ripping through him at once. Tears fell yet at the same time a raging scream left his lips. Bucky cowered like a startled animal, hugging his knees to his chest as he sobbed. He trembled and gasped, his body becoming uncontrollable, his head pounding painfully. A flashback hit him like a brick, he had experienced a lot of them lately, they came and went until all he could hear were voices.

_"Agent Barnes, this is your new partner, Agent Rogers,"_

_"Hi, call me Steve,"_

_"Bucky,"_

_"Great to meet you Bucky,"_

_"Because I'm with you till' the end of the line,"_

_"You're my best friend,"_

Bucky gasped, his eyes flying open as he stared into the darkness of his apartment. Sweat ran down his forehead, hands shaking violently on his knees. He blinked through the residing tears, heart beat still audible in his ears.

"Come on Buck, get it together," he snapped.

Then came a knock, a knock so loud Bucky nearly jumped out of his skin. It came again and he knew that someone was definitely outside his door, it wasn't an illusion. The brunette staggered to his feet, flicking the light and wiping the tears away as he sorted himself. He didn't exactly want to look like a dag. When he opened the door he was met with a pair of sea blue eyes and a gentle smile.

"Hi, sorry to disturb you, I just-" Steve paused, looking a little flustered.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh internally in his head.

"I noticed you just moved in. And I-I didn't catch your name," the blonde continued.

_Don't screw this up, you have to be undercover remember_ Bucky thought.

"James," he replied, still a little hoarse from the alcohol and the angered scream. "James Barnes," he added.

"Steve Rogers," the blonde mused, holding his hand out.

The brunette grasped Steve's hand, giving it a firm shake, before letting go. He couldn't get over how much older Steve looked, not much older, but much more a man, less a boy.

"Have you been to Brooklyn before?" Steve questioned.

"Grew up here," Bucky answered. "Can't tell by the accent?" he asked.

"Yeah, yours isn't as broad, but I could hear a little hint of it," Steve chuckled. "But no kidding, I grew up here too," he added.

"I know," Bucky mumbled.

"What?" Steve replied.

"Sorry," Bucky apologised. "Caught up in my own thoughts. But uh, that's great, y'know, great to know someone grew up in the place I call home," he continued.

Steve grinned.

"Hey, if you ever need a hand with anything, or need someone to pal around with...just come find me. I'm in my apartment most of the time, except for work, so feel free to come over," he mused.

"Thanks, but I'll probably be really busy too. I work a lot. It's a big business," Bucky answered.

"Oh, that's fine," Steve replied, a little disappointment in his voice.

Bucky could see the look on his face, he knew that face. Over the years he had spent with Steve he had deciphered every face Steve had made, except for new ones that he probably hasn't seen at all. Phil's words were rolling around inside his head, the ones about not having a friendship with Steve. He decided to go against it, he decided he'd make the first move and invite himself over for a night instead of Steve organising it. He couldn't stand the hurt look on Steve's face.

"I'd love to come over for dinner one night, if that's okay?" he asked.

Smooth Bucky, smooth.

"Seriously?" Steve questioned.

He had also said it so he could snoop around Steve's place, digging up anything he could relay back to Phil, even if he felt guilty for it. Yet maybe it gave him a chance to get up to speed with what Steve did with his life.

"Yeah, why the hell not? Gives me a chance to get to know someone around here," he replied.

"Great! Well, I-here I'll give you my number and you can text me with details," Steve issued.

Bucky tried not to laugh at Steve pulling out a notepad and pen from his pocket.

"Typical," he huffed.

Luckily, Steve didn't hear him as he scrawled his name and number on the paper.

"Here, text any time, even if I'm sleeping because I'll get it when I wake up," he spoke, handing the paper to Bucky.

"Thanks," the brunette hummed.

"See you around?" Steve asked hopefully.

"Of course, Steve," Bucky answered.

"Catch ya' later James," Steve crooned, giving him a small wink.

Bucky watched his friend leave, before closing the door as he wandered into his bedroom to sleep. Now all he had to do was tell Phil a little lie, and try not to blow his cover. Steve's life was in his hands.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I needed more manipulative Tony, I really did, but I swear that was the last. Steve and Tony are done. Also, how do you think Bucky is going to react when he finds out that S.H.I.E.L.D had lied to Steve, telling him that he was dead? And if you ask why Steve didn't bat an eyelid at Bucky's name 'Barnes', it's obviously because the only thing he can really remember (for now) is just Bucky's name, not his full name. The amnesia is terrible yes, but later on he's going to start having flashbacks that will soon make him see who the man is that's trying to protect him. Enjoy :D**


	4. Chapter 2 - Rogue Shadow

_**"With our backs to the wall, the darkness will fall." - Ready! Aim! Fire! - Imagine Dragons**_

* * *

><p>Today was the day Steve was dreading the most, the day he would go and visit Bucky's grave. He'd spent so long avoiding it, spent so long dwelling on it. His plans were all set out as usual, just like every year, except for the grave visit. It was the weekend, so work was off the agenda, he wouldn't have to see Tony until Tuesday because he never worked on Mondays, Steve hated Mondays. His first plan was to sit in his apartment and look at photographs of himself and Bucky. There weren't many, just a few. Steve couldn't remember much of the things in the photographs, he wanted to though. Amnesia was a horrid thing to feel, the blonde did try his best to not let it get to him. He sighed as he sat down on the couch and spread the pictures out on the coffee table. His eyes scanned them carefully.<p>

All he knew really was that he and Bucky were inseparable. They wouldn't leave without each other when they went to places. Of course, Steve couldn't remember the things in S.H.I.E.L.D, couldn't remember going wherever Bucky went unless told otherwise. They had a room together in S.H.I.E.L.D and they would play cards, drink and tell each other stories. It was memories like that, that Steve had to remember. His heart sunk at every photo he admired, wondering how things would be if Bucky was still there. Tears were welling in his eyes, as they always did, he couldn't imagine what it would have been like for Bucky, not knowing that he was heading into a death trap, to his death.

"Ah!" Steve yelled, clutching his head.

Another memory, another glimpse of his past, it flickered by in pieces. Steve cowered on the couch, watching faces blur in his mind, and voices, most of them Bucky's.

_"You can't leave Steve,"_

_"I'm sorry Bucky, I have to,"_

_"What happened to 'till the end of the line'?"_

_"This is the end of the line Buck,"_

_"Steve!"_

The blonde whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to gasp for oxygen. Anxiety fired up in his body as his hands trembled on his knees, eyes looking frightened.

"Get out of my head!" he yelled, grasping the nearest cushion.

It wasn't that Steve didn't want the puzzle pieces to fit back together. He just didn't want them this way. They passed minutes later, but Steve still lay shaken on the couch, wet patches forming on the cushion from salty tears. Steve would have to schedule some time with Natasha again, her methods always kept him calm for a few days.

"I need to go for a jog," he whispered.

As he sat up straighter, he heard his phone ring from his bedroom. It was only a short tone, signalling a text message. The blond composed himself, wiping the stray tears from his cheeks. He pondered into the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed as he grabbed the phone. His heart fluttered slightly at the caller ID.

**_"Hi, it's James, remember, from last night? I hope you're having a good morning. Should we have dinner on Monday? If you're not busy that is." - James_**

Steve smiled, he'd only met his new neighbour for a brief moment, but seemed keen on him already. The only thing was that he looked somewhat familiar to him, like an older version of Bucky, but maybe he was just going slightly insane. He thought on what to say back to him. Steve had great confidence, but, for some reason James made him a little shy, nervous even.

**_"Are you busy right now? Do you want to come over and have coffee?" - Steve_**

The reply was sent and Steve couldn't take it back now. He waited, in the silence, his soft breathing the only audible thing in the room. When the reply came, he really had to do a double take on it. His nerves subsiding only a little.

_**"I don't want to bother you on your weekend. But, I know you won't take no for an answer. I'll be over soon." - James**_

_How did he know that?_ Steve thought. He shook his head, turning his attention away from his phone.

"Jeez, I better clean myself up," he huffed.

Steve looked like he'd slept for hours, tossing and turning in bed. His hair was a mess and he looked tatty in his clothes from the previous night. Not to mention his eyes were all bloodshot from crying. He decided to just put on his jogging gear, a grey shirt that hugged his torso more than it should and navy blue sweatpants that hung loose on his hips. Steve didn't exactly know what it was that drew him to the brunette across the hall. He'd never really intended to introduce himself last night, but felt that he'd pass off as rude. After fixing his hair, he splashed water on his face to cool down a little, drying it off quickly. When he walked into the lounge, he heard a knock at the door. He couldn't believe time had passed that fast.

"Just a second!" he called.

The blonde scrambled to pick up the photographs of Bucky, slipping them back into the small box, hiding it on the shelf under the coffee table. He got back up off the couch and practically jogged to the door, opening it slowly.

"Hey!" he chimed, smiling widely.

_Christ Steve you're an idiot, act yourself_ he thought.

"Mornin'," Bucky replied, smiling back.

"Come in, come in," Steve issued, stepping aside. "I was really glad when you contacted me I mean, I didn't know if you were going to think I was a creep or something and-" he paused, realizing he was rambling. "Shit, sorry," he mumbled.

Bucky snorted.

"Relax pal," he soothed.

Steve nodded as he closed the door and wandered into the kitchen.

"So uh, do you take milk in your coffee?" he asked.

"Only a little bit," Bucky replied.

The brunette was scanning his eyes around the room, taking it all in. Steve was doing well for himself and it seemed that he kept everything in order. Something caught his attention in the corner of his eye. He stepped to the left and saw a photograph on the floor, face down. Steve was far too busy with the coffee to even note the brunette's actions. Bucky crouched down and picked it up, spinning it around in his fingers. His face paled, heart stuttering as he let out a shaky breath. Steve remembered him. The brunette wanted to give up his cover right there and then, but he'd risk Steve's life, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Agent Barnes, I trust you had a good night?" Phil's voice spoke suddenly in his earpiece.

Bucky had forgotten that he had put it on. He placed the photograph in his jacket pocket before standing back up swiftly.

"Agent Barnes?" Phil asked.

"Phil give me a minute!" Bucky hissed.

Steve heard the commotion, raising his head as he quirked an eyebrow up.

"Everything okay James?" he questioned.

Bucky wished he didn't have to be called that.

"Sorry, my boss is yapping in my ear like a Chihuahua. I'll be right back," Bucky mused.

Steve nodded as Bucky walked out to the balcony, fingers up to the earpiece.

"I'm here Director," he issued.

"Agent Barnes, where are you at this present moment?" Phil asked.

"I got invited over for coffee at Steve's," he replied.

"Agent Barnes-" Phil paused.

"You did say go over if I was invited. Look, I haven't blown my cover yet and Steve seems completely oblivious. I won't screw this up Director, Steve's life is as valuable to me as it is to you. I figured this would allow me to look around his apartment, see if I could dig up anything to help out," Bucky explained.

"I understand. Please don't fail us Bucky. I'll let you know now, but Steve goes jogging around this time. If you could manage to go along, whether you be invited or you stay out of sight. Do it. I have a fear that someone may be after Steve just like yesterday," Phil answered.

"Yes sir," Bucky replied.

"Great, I'll check in later on," Phil mused.

"Sir," Bucky spoke, after a moment.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Are things ever going to be the same? I mean, is the man I'm staring at right now just some empty shell with no memory, is he gone for good?" Bucky asked, hurt in his tone.

"It's complicated," Phil replied.

Bucky sighed.

"Understood," the brunette mumbled. "Captain is safe for now," he added.

"That's the spirit," Phil mused.

Bucky dropped his fingers from the earpiece, feeling sadness tear through him like a newly sharpened blade. He looked at Steve, seeing nothing different about him. But he knew deep down, that Steve still had some memory of him. It was enough for him to have some sense of hope, some sense of comfort. Steve lifted his head as his gaze fell on Bucky, a small smile growing on his face. Bucky hadn't really realized he was staring and he looked away, a light blush on his cheeks. He saw Steve wander over with the coffee so he opened the sliding door for him.

"Thanks," he crooned, holding a mug out to Bucky.

"Thank you," the brunette hummed.

"So...can I ask what that was about?" Steve queried.

"Just my boss rambling about stuff that isn't important," Bucky chuckled.

"Oh? Who do you work for?" the blonde asked.

_Shit, shit, shit_ Bucky thought.

"A security company. We need to keep things classified though," he replied.

"I understand man, it's hard to work in such a secretive business," Steve mused.

"Yeah, we're a new level of secretive," Bucky joked.

"Interesting, but I'll buy it," Steve replied.

"Buy it?" Bucky questioned.

"I expected you to be...oh I dunno' a musician, sports trainer, an author maybe," the blonde hummed.

"Seriously?" the brunette scoffed.

"Truly," Steve answered. "Guess I was way off," he added.

"What about you, what do you do?" Bucky asked, even though he already knew.

"Stark Industries, with Tony Stark," the blonde muttered.

"That guy with the big ugly-" Bucky paused, hinting the frown on Steve's face.

"How did you know that?" he questioned.

Bucky rolled his eyes.

"He's not exactly someone who hides from the public eye," he issued.

Steve's face softened.

"I guess so," Steve replied. "I tried to stay away from the public eye," he added.

Bucky pretended to be confused.

"Tony and I were an item. Not now though. Cares more about his ego, his reputation. But hey, I'm free I suppose," Steve explained.

_What a jerk_ the brunette thought in annoyance.

"So James, tell me more about yourself. And tell me the story of how you got that metal arm, looks interesting," the blonde mused, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well..." Bucky started.

He poured his heart out to Steve, in an informative sense, but half of it was full of lies. Bucky hated lying. He was determined to fix this, all of it...he had to fix Steve.

* * *

><p>Bucky left after the coffee at Steve's, updating Phil on what was happening, even though there wasn't much to tell. The photograph he picked up was still in his jacket back at his apartment. He was now dressed in his jogging gear, long sleeves hiding the S.H.I.E.L.D logo and his arm. Bucky had lied to Steve about the metal arm, saying it was from a farm accident, Bucky had never stepped foot on a farm in his life. His face was hidden by a cap, his hair blowing freely as he jogged at a steady pace. The brunette was keeping his eye on Steve, deciding on the latter of what Phil had mentioned earlier. Being around Steve was causing him so much emotional pain, he lost it when he got back to his apartment after the morning visit. Jogging seemed to relax him now, he was in work mode, but felt like the biggest creep ever. Steve was a fast runner, and the brunette found it hard to keep up. He did see the blonde jog around a corner moments ago, so he knew he wouldn't be that far.<p>

"You always were a bit of a fast one Steve," he whispered.

A sudden weight on his arm made Bucky flinch. He grabbed the wrist of his 'opponent' before spinning around, pinning his metal arm to the person's throat.

"Woah woah! James it's me!" a familiar voice exclaimed.

Bucky's eyes widened in horror when he saw Steve staring back at him, fear on his face. He really had to work on his undercover attire more. Because for Steve to notice him in what he had on was embarrassing.

"Shit, Steve I'm sorry," he apologized, stepping back.

The blonde rubbed his throat a little.

"At least I know not to sneak up on you," he joked.

Bucky laughed.

"I just-self defence classes, y'know," he mused.

"Right," Steve replied. "This is weird, bumping into each other after I just saw you this morning. You aren't following me are you?" he asked, with a wink.

The brunette shook his head as he looked at Steve who had a glimmer in his eyes and a wide smile on his face. How Bucky missed seeing that every single day when they were in S.H.I.E.L.D.

"No, definitely not," he lied. "I love jogging," he added.

"So much that you wrap yourself up in layers?" Steve questioned.

"Just...I don't like having my arm on show when I jog," Bucky answered.

"Well, you'll get pretty warm with long sleeves," Steve mused.

"I'll be fine, really," Bucky chuckled.

"If you say so," the blonde hummed. "Jog with me?" he asked.

Bucky shrugged slightly as he and Steve started off at a slow pace, jogging by each other's sides. Steve smiled softly and kept his eyes forward, looking straight ahead, while also stealing a few glances at Bucky a few times. He wasn't usually one to try and make an effort to talk to a complete stranger again. But something had pushed him towards Bucky, he was a little bit curious, the brunette seemed intriguing, mysterious and Steve fed off that.

"Hey, listen, there's a gig on at a bar tonight in town. You should come along. I sing and play guitar so y'know, it'd be great to see you there," he spoke.

"Thanks for the offer. But I have a tonne of work to do," Bucky replied.

"Oh," Steve mused. "That's alright, it was just in case you weren't busy. But if things change, it starts at 7pm at the Lemurian Star. Best bar in this whole place," he added.

"I'll keep that in mind Steve," the brunette answered.

Steve slowed slightly as they came to a public restroom, a pathway leading up to it.

"Hey uh, I'll be a minute, you can keep jogging, I can catch up," he issued.

"It's okay, I'll wait," Bucky replied.

The blonde smiled kindly as he sauntered off to the restroom. Bucky looked out at the scenery before him, taking in the smells and sounds.

"Agent Barnes, status report," Phil spoke, his usual authoritative tone making Bucky grumble.

"Captain is in safe hands," he answered.

"Anything else?" Phil questioned.

"He seems a little lost. His eyes look really vacant. Any idea why?" Bucky asked.

Silence. It didn't sound right to the brunette.

"That's classified," Phil mumbled.

"Excuse me? I thought I would be given everything on Steve!" he hissed.

"Might I remind you that you're only a level seven agent and the information you want is for level eight or higher," Phil explained.

Bucky scoffed.

"Talk about confidentiality," he laughed.

"It's for your own good!" the other man yelled.

"Oh now you've really got me curious, sir," Bucky retorted sarcastically.

"Agent Barnes, get back to work. Deliver a full status report at 7pm, tonight," Phil ordered.

Bucky simply grumbled as he moved his fingers away from his earpiece and folded his arms over his chest. He always hated having to be a certain level in S.H.I.E.L.D in order to get information. His eyes scanned the park, it was quiet, he figured not many would be out at this time. As he turned back to look at the way Steve had gone, a woman caught his eyes, she looked suspicious. There was an uneasy feeling in his stomach as he pulled his gun which was hidden in his jacket. The brunette slowly walked up, gun held close to him.

"Where do you think you're going ma'am?" he questioned.

The blonde haired woman flinched as she turned and stared directly at Bucky. She had a sharp, silver knife in her hand, Bucky expected a gun like the man who he encountered first.

"Don't come any closer," she spoke.

"Who do you work for?" Bucky asked.

"I can't say," she replied.

He raised his gun then, flicking the safety off.

"I'll ask you again...who do you work for?" he hissed.

The woman gripped the knife tighter.

"Someone you don't want to get involved with, Agent," she spat.

"Tell me now or I'll shoot your leg so I can have you easily arrested!" Bucky yelled.

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place," she replied, bringing the knife up.

"No!" Bucky exclaimed.

Her screams echoed through the park as she dug the knife into her chest. Blood dripped to the ground as she twisted it, body going limp. Bucky caught her before she fell, his heart racing in his chest.

"Oh my god," a voice gasped.

Bucky looked up to see Steve, his eyes widened.

"What happened!" he yelled.

"She just killed herself, I don't know why!" Bucky roared.

"Oh god," Steve whispered, running his hands through his hair.

"Steve, I think you should go home. I'll take care of this," the brunette answered.

"Wait, what?" Steve questioned.

"The company I work for, deals with strange things like these, it's not normal. Just go," Bucky ordered, putting his fingers to his ear. "Sir, we've got another one, a woman," he spoke. "No, she's dead sir," he continued. "Yes sir," he added.

Steve stood there stunned.

"Go!" Bucky exclaimed.

The blonde snapped out of his trance as he made his way by Bucky, and began to job back to his Harley which sat in the car park. He couldn't believe what he saw, he was shocked. Steve was also getting growing suspicions about Bucky now. There was something he was hiding, something strange. No one would call on someone else to assist with a body and not call the police or something. Steve grabbed his jacket off his Harley as he shrugged it on and straddled the seat. The blonde was just about to take off when he saw three black SUV's pull up a few metres away from him. Several men and a woman stepped out and Steve raised an eyebrow curiously, the woman seemed familiar. A symbol on the side of the car made his curiosity grow as he pulled out his phone. Steve snapped a quick picture as he stared at it, it was like he knew it, like he'd seen it before. He also couldn't help but think that he had seen the oldest of the men before, he was familiar like the woman. But it all fuzzed in his mind when he tried to think.

"I should get out of here," he muttered.

The blonde revved the engine of the Harley as he pulled out of the parking space. He couldn't see his new neighbour from where he was, but was really hoping he would be alright. Steve drove out onto the road, speeding down the street, his leather jacket whipping out behind him. As he sped by the park, the brunette was stood yelling at the older man. Steve shook his head as he put his attention back on the road. He couldn't quite grasp what was happening, he couldn't think straight. The symbol from the SUV's flashed in his mind, over and over again. It was like he had been there before, like he had seen it with his own eyes, it was an organization of some sort. The blonde had to pull over as he gripped the handles tightly, his breathing ragged. A bold 'S' whirled in his mind, then an 'H' before it stopped on an 'I', fading quickly. Steve gasped as he regained his composure and wrote the three letters down, they could be helpful later.

"What the hell was that thing?" he whispered shakily.

* * *

><p>Cemeteries were Steve's least favourite place. If he was told to go journey through a sewer, he most likely would. So long as he didn't have to step foot in a cemetery. But he had no other choice this time, Natasha told him he needed closure, told him that he had to face the music again. It had been a while and he knew the flowers at Bucky's grave would be wilted. He knew Bucky was never a flower person, but would always keep a certain type beside his bed back in the day. It was just one of those things that managed to stay in Steve's head about Bucky. They were a stunning bouquet of fire lilies, which had an orange colour to them. The flower signified friendship and devotion, the meaning being relevant to Bucky. Steve owed his life to Bucky, it was just a shame their journey had to be cut short. He was near trembling as he turned down the final corner to the cemetery. Steve, as usual, wasn't looking where he was going. He collided with someone, his hand flying out to steady whoever it was. His gaze fell on a familiar face and he frowned slightly.<p>

"James," he spoke.

"Steve? Shit man, I'm sorry I didn't see you," Bucky replied.

"Right," the blonde mused, tilting his head a little.

There was something very odd now about bumping into him not once, but twice in the one day, with only a few hours between both meetings. Steve for one, was confused now, but his suspicion heightened once more. How could it be possible? Was it just by chance?

"This is really strange, seeing you for the third time. How does that work?" the blonde asked.

"Fate?" Bucky answered, before cringing. "Sorry," he added.

Steve couldn't help but laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners. Bucky's eyes fell on the flowers, his brow creasing. Fire lilies, that seemed all too familiar.

"Who's the lucky lady?" he questioned.

"No woman, just an old friend," Steve mused.

Bucky nodded.

"Listen, I may be asking a bit much, but I...do like your company," Steve spoke. "But could you come with me? My therapist suggested I go myself but I'm afraid of turning back and leaving," he continued.

The brunette's heart sank at the mentioning of therapy, he hadn't realized Steve's amnesia was that bad, that he needed extra help. It broke his damn heart. He wanted to leave, wanted to make an excuse. But of course, he had a job, protect Steve, he couldn't bail, he may as well stand by him, just in case. His only problem that was he was caught, yet again, it made him feel like a terrible agent.

"James?" Steve spoke, looking at him intently.

"Sure, sorry. I'd love to accompany you," he issued.

Steve nodded as he started to walk again, Bucky following close beside him.

"Those flowers are really beautiful," he commented.

"Yeah," Steve replied. "The person they are for loved them," he added.

"Loved them?" Bucky queried, raising an eyebrow.

Steve just looked over at Bucky with a sad smile as they turned into the cemetery. Bucky's heart sunk to his stomach immediately, he couldn't even think of who Steve might be visiting.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay, you didn't know," the blonde responded.

They sauntered down a pathway that twisted like a snake slithering through the grass. Trees lined the path, bright red flowers blooming in between the leaves. Bucky admired it all, hands rested in his pockets. He was dragging along behind Steve now, but the blonde kept at a steady pace. A clearing began to show and Bucky looked up as he saw a gravestone placed under a tree that was simply remarkable.

"Wow," he whispered.

Steve began to make his way up to the grave as Bucky still admired the tree. Behind it, the park and lake could be seen from a distance. It was a lovely resting place, calm and quiet, whoever it was Steve was visiting must have been important. The brunette made his way up the hill as Steve kicked the dead flowers away and replaced them with the new ones. When he stepped aside, Bucky could see the name of the deceased. He paled, breath catching in his throat, gut churning uneasily. His name was there, he had to do a double take, but it was definitely his.

_Here lies Bucky._  
><em>A loved friend, son and worker. <em>  
><em>July 12th 1988 - December 8th 2011.<em>

"Oh god," he choked out, covering his mouth with his hand.

How could they have done this to Steve? Anger shredded through his blood stream, but he held himself back. He was livid, at Phil, at the others who would have known. Any other excuse would have done to keep Steve away from Bucky, but not this, not a fake death.

"He was my best friend, but I remember little about him because of an accident I had. I have temporary amnesia now," Steve spoke softly.

_I know this_ Bucky thought.

"Bucky was a very special person and I miss him so much," the blonde whispered.

Bucky heard the choked sob leave his lips, shoulders trembling. He was so angry that they had put Steve through this.

"I j-just wish I could have-" Steve paused, hands shaking.

The visit was taking its toil on him already.

"I wish I could have seen him one last time," he sobbed.

Steve's eyes flooded with tears as he fell on his knees, hands resting on the grass. He hung his head as he cried, taking in sharp breaths of air. His emotions were uncontrollable now, he trembled violently, it was a horrible sight to see, and a horrible sound to hear. Bucky stood motionless, trying to take it all in. Only then did he reach down and rest his hand on Steve's shoulder, holding back his own tears of anguish and hurt. Steve's hand came up and rested on Bucky's, who could only feel the weight on it, because it was his metal hand.

"He would be proud of what you are now Steve," he mused.

Steve shook his head.

"No, he'd hate what I've become," he choked out.

"No Steve, he'd be proud," Bucky replied, squeezing his shoulder.

The blonde said nothing as he tried to calm himself down, taking in deep breaths.

"He shouldn't have died so horribly," he whispered.

"How did he?" Bucky asked hesitantly.

"He fell," Steve whimpered, clutching the material of his jeans. "A woman, Maria, she came to my door, told me Bucky was killed on a mission or something, told me they couldn't retrieve his body," he added. "I cried in the doorway of my apartment, I cried for days. Then I had my accident and I can't remember where Maria was from, what I used to be, I just know there's something and I want to remember dammit," he wept.

Bucky remained silent as he thought back to that day. He survived that fall, how could they make up such a lie like that?

_"Steady Agent Barnes," Phil ordered._

_It was December 8th and Bucky was on a mission with several other agents to infiltrate a base in Finland for an organization that planned to attack several states in the United States. They were all quick on their feet, but they had one obstacle to cross, a narrow frosted shelf of ice. Four out of the six agents made it, Bucky was the sixth to cross it. He was only halfway across when the ice cracked._

_"Sir, this ice isn't stable," he warned._

_"Keep going Agent Barnes, you're doing great," Phil replied._

_The brunette took a deep breath, taking another steady step. Ice cracked and gave way, and Bucky grasped a piece of ice above him, gloves keeping him from slipping. He was a heavy person, and he didn't know how long that ice would hold. Fear swelled inside him at that point, he could die here, he wouldn't see Steve again._

_"Steve..." he whispered._

_"Agent Barnes!" an agent yelled._

**_*Crack!*_**

_Bucky's head snapped to the ice he held onto, watching it pull away. It broke apart...Bucky fell. His scream echoed up the cliff, the other agents getting into a panic. Somehow, by pure luck, by chance, Bucky survived the fall, but blacked out immediately. Days later he woke up, feeling an unusual weight on his left arm. When he lifted the arm, all he saw was shining metal with red lights dotted on it, from his shoulder to his fingers. The scream he let out was horrendous, full of anger and fear. He'd knocked down several S.H.I.E.L.D doctors before he was sedated again. For weeks he stayed in his room at S.H.I.E.L.D, all he had was Steve before he left. Even now, that looked like a lost cause._

"I'm so sorry Steve," he whispered.

He hadn't realized he had been crying also, Steve still knelt before the gravestone. Yet he was silent now, he was resting his chin on his hands, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

"I would give anything to have him back," he sighed, shakily.

"I'm sure Bucky would do the same," the brunette replied.

Steve laughed.

"He would have, or he would tell me to stop being such a punk," the blonde chuckled, smiling briefly.

_I probably would_ Bucky thought.

"He meant that much?" Bucky asked.

"So much, he meant the world," Steve whispered. "Literally so much I'd sacrifice my life for him to still be alive," he added.

Bucky's heart sunk yet skipped a beat at the same time. He didn't know that at all, not even in their S.H.I.E.L.D days. Steve tended to be quite reserved. It was like he was harvesting something to himself now.

"I wish I could remember more about him," the blonde mumbled, wiping stray tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this," he mused.

"Don't blame yourself. What are neighbours for?" Bucky answered.

Steve smiled.

"Thank you," he crooned, standing up.

Bucky felt himself being pulled into Steve's arms, their bodies squished together. The brunette's eyes were wide as he stood motionless. He remembered this feeling all too much, the hugs he and Steve used to share. Hell, if Bucky went on a mission and came back in one piece, Steve wouldn't let go for hours. They were both so dependent on each other then, now, well, how could they now if Bucky was apparently dead? Bucky put his arms around Steve after the initial shock, patting Steve's back. What he didn't expect was for the blonde to break down again in his arms. What if this is all he needed? A hug, some security, closure. Steve was so broken it hurt, it all hurt.

* * *

><p>Night drew in at a quick speed, time flew by, it was time for Brooklyn to thrive. It was the weekend after all, it was party time. Although, not for some, especially not for Bucky. He was working, unfortunately. His bed was scattered with documents and files from the two targets who had been after Steve. The brunette still couldn't grasp on what the woman meant by 'cut off one head, two more shall take its place'. Bucky was just as confused as everybody else was. His mind was on overload, part of it work, the other part about Steve. He'd lied to Steve, he'd found out he was 'dead', and he was stuck in his apartment on a Saturday night doing work. Bucky really wanted to go to the Lemurian Star and see this gig Steve was talking about. He hadn't heard Steve sing in years. The last time he heard him sing was a few weeks before he quit S.H.I.E.L.D. He sang one of Bucky's favourite songs 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' by Poison. The brunette would remember that moment forever, the way Steve's fingers worked the strings of the guitar, the way his voice sounded so soft and in tune. He missed it so much and he was kicking himself right now for saying no to Steve.<p>

"Oh to hell with this!" he exclaimed, looking at the clock.

It was 7:10pm, Steve had said it started at 7pm, so he was missing some already. But Bucky thought that wouldn't really matter, as long as he went to it.

"Let's do this," he spoke, to himself.

The brunette rushed into his bathroom and pulled his hair back into a ponytail, before going to his bedroom and grabbing his favourite black shirt and leather jacket. He kept his jeans on, half of them covered by his combat boots, he did really look the part. As he went to grab his wallet and key card, he passed his earpiece that was sitting by the TV. He frowned, before waving it off and exiting his apartment.

"This is my weekend, I won't have it wasted by Phil barking in my ear," he huffed.

With a spring in his stride, he dashed down to the elevator and rode it down to the lobby floor. The lobby was quiet, with only one person sitting at her laptop. Bucky paid her no mind, he was focused on his main goal, Steve and a break from work. God what the hell am I doing! he thought. I look like a fucking fairy prancing off to a fairy parade he scolded. But it made him laugh at the same time. As he stepped out into the cool night, he tried to think of what street to take to get to this bar, he hadn't heard of it and it had been a while since he had been in Brooklyn.

"Dammit, fuck, говно, сукин сын," _shit, son of a bitch_ he cursed, his Russian roots slipping through.

Bucky frowned.

"I need to stop doing that," he grumbled.

A loud laugh caught his attention, his gaze falling on two men. Both were tall, one maybe a little shorter. One was a warm chocolatey shade like his tired battle worn eyes, with black hair and a gleaming white smile, a bit of a neatly trimmed goatee surrounding it. The other was somewhat tanned, with silky blonde hair and bright blue eyes, scruffy blonde hairs adorning his cheeks and around his mouth, not to mention he was built like a statue of a Norse god or something similar. They looked friendly enough to Bucky, so he approached them with a kind smile.

"Excuse me, you fellas wouldn't happen to know where the Lemurian Star is would you?" he asked, smiling softly.

"You sound like you should know your way around man," the first man spoke.

"Sam, be nice to the man," the other lectured.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at his sort of regal accent, it was weird to decipher.

"Yeah, funny story, I haven't been out in a while. Who I work for, we're kind of private, I was inside a headquarters for years," he mused.

"Man, you've missed out on a lot then," Sam replied. "The Lemurian Star is the newest bar here, a year old," he added.

"We were just going there, would you like to join us?" the blonde questioned.

Bucky shrugged.

"Lead the way," he chimed.

"My name is Thor by the way, Thor Odinson," the blonde issued, holding out his hand.

"Cool name, I'm James Barnes," Bucky mused, grabbing Thor's hand and shaking it.

"And I'm Sam Wilson," the other interjected.

"Nice to meet you both," Bucky replied.

"Let's go then," Thor spoke, smiling widely.

Bucky nodded as he stood between the two, a sense of comfort settling in, he loved it when he met friendly people.

"So what you brings you out into the streets of Brooklyn, James?" Sam asked, seeming interested in a good story.

"Well, I can't say much. But, I'm sort of in a secret business that keeps close watch on citizens," Bucky replied.

"So you're kind of like a superhero?" Sam joked.

Bucky laughed.

"Not quite," he mused. "We're very top secret. So I can't say much else, just that protection is what we do best," he added.

"I understand man, Thor and I work as fire-fighters, protecting the people is what we like to do," Sam explained.

"Wow, good on you guys, that's great," Bucky chimed.

"When lives are at stake you must risk your own, just as long as everybody else is alright," Thor interjected.

Bucky nodded understandably.

"Do you guys go to the Lemurian Star much?" he asked.

"Usually only when our friend Steve plays a gig there," Sam replied.

"Oh," Bucky gasped, slightly.

_So they are friends with Steve? Great_ he thought. The brunette had already met Loki, now he was meeting two more. He should have known, he should have remembered the files.

"You'll love him, he's a great guy," Sam chuckled.

"A fine man," Thor boomed.

"We've met already," Bucky mumbled.

"No kidding! How did that happen?" Sam questioned.

"He lives across the hall from me," the brunette answered.

"Shit man, lucky you," Sam laughed.

Bucky shrugged.

"He's an alright neighbour," he teased.

"Get to know him more and you'll see what a gentle and kind man he is," Thor issued.

"I'll try that," Bucky chuckled, even though he knew how great Steve was.

Sam and Thor stopped in their tracks as Bucky looked across the street. There it was, the Lemurian Star, looking brand spanking new with a neon sign saying 'Happy Hour from 7pm-8pm'.

"Holy crap, we better grab cheap drinks before we miss it!" Sam exclaimed.

Thor laughed as his friend jogged off, leaving Bucky and himself standing on the footpath.

"Are you coming James?" he asked, glancing at the awestruck brunette.

"Huh? Oh, yeah sorry," Bucky muttered, cringing slightly.

"Not to worry my friend!" Thor yelled, clapping his hand on Bucky's shoulder. "We shall have a whale of a time," he added.

The brunette smiled softly as he and Thor made their way across the street, walking into the bar. It was a great looking place, simple and not over the top. The crowd was average, not as busy as Bucky had expected, but it was still early. Sam was already at the bar, three pints glasses of beer sitting in front of him. Thor grinned and sauntered over, while Bucky still stood admiring the bar. He really had missed out on a lot.

"Thank you for coming out tonight everybody!" a voice chimed.

Bucky's attention fell on the stage where he saw Steve standing, guitar in hand and a soft smile on his face. He was looking pretty amazing in a black button up and jeans, his hair a bit messy but still neat. Bucky couldn't help but stare, he always thought Steve looked fantastic, but there was just something about how he looked tonight. Music filled the air as Steve started to dive into an intro with his electric guitar. Bucky slowly made his way to the bar, eyes on Steve as he weaved through people, he knew that song. Steve would make eye contact with the crowd from time to time. But he didn't expect to look up and see Bucky, the lights from the stage bouncing off his face, making his eyes shine. The brunette grinned, looking away as he stopped at the bar, Steve's heart skipped a beat.

"Ah I love this song!" Thor exclaimed.

"Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue," Bucky mused.

"You like them?" the blonde asked.

"Huge fan," Bucky chuckled, picking up his beer.

"Yeah and it seems Steve's a big fan of you," Sam interjected.

"What do you mean?" Bucky questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"He was totally checking you out!" Sam laughed.

"Sam," Thor scolded.

"Hey, I'm only stating the truth," Sam scoffed.

"Doubt I'm his type," Bucky issued, sipping his beer.

_Fucking hell why did I say that!_ he thought angrily.

"I think you're definitely his type," Sam replied, with a sly wink.

Thor chuckled at the blush that spread on Bucky's face, who took a big sip of his beer now. He felt embarrassed for opening his big fat mouth.

"Always got the cops. Coming after me. Custom built bike doing 103. My heart, my heart. Kickstart my heart," Steve sang, pondering about the stage.

Bucky missed that singing voice, feeling content that he could hear it again. Steve looked like he had such a great time up on stage. He looked at him intently, Sam and Thor's voices droning out as he focused on Steve. The blonde worked his fingers on the strings as the guitar solo came up, he had improved a bit since last time Bucky saw him. Their eyes met again and Steve smiled the time, blue eyes glistening in the dim light. Bucky felt an overwhelming feeling as he looked away, turning his attention back on his beer.

"James, you okay man?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, sorry, just busy day at work," Bucky lied.

"Time to unwind James, forget the stress," Thor boasted.

Bucky nodded as he lent against the bar, back arched slightly as he tapped a metal finger on the glass.

"How'd that happen?" Sam questioned, eyeing the metal.

"Farm accident. Got my arm crushed, so I ended up with this baby," the brunette replied.

"It doesn't bother you?" Sam asked.

"Spasms on me sometimes. Other than that, I'm used to it," he mused.

"You guys aren't harassing him are you?" a cheery voice chimed.

Steve had sauntered up to the bar, leaving the guitar up on stge as music from the speakers played.

"You didn't sing for long," Bucky commented.

The blonde smirked.

"I wanted a cheap drink first," he chuckled.

"Let me get it," Bucky replied.

"No it's okay," Steve soothed.

"Seriously Steve, shut up," Bucky laughed.

Steve smirked as Bucky turned to order his drink. He couldn't get rid of the thought of the brunette because he had his hair tied back, he looked so alike to his old friend.

"Steve?" Bucky spoke.

"Hmm?" he replied.

"What's wrong?" the brunette questioned.

"Oh, you-" Steve paused. "You look a little like Bucky right now," he added.

"Because of my hair?" Bucky asked. "Bucky had short hair huh?" he added.

Steve nodded.

"Shit sorry," Bucky whispered, pulling the band from his hair.

"Hey, hey," Steve protested, grabbing Bucky's hand.

Bucky flinched slightly, metal hand clamping around Steve's wrist.

"Sorry," the blonde mused.

"No, it's fine, self defence classes remember, I get a little jumpy all the time," Bucky laughed.

Steve nodded as he grabbed the band and tied Bucky's hair up again.

"Leave it," he issued.

"Alright lovebirds enough of that," Sam interjected.

"Sam!" Steve exclaimed.

Sam burst out laughing, as well as Thor who found it completely amusing. Steve and Bucky simply shared awkward glances, two cold pints of beer appearing beside Bucky. The brunette grabbed one, handing it to Steve. The other was for when he finished his, which he was swallowing down like it was the last drink on Earth.

"I liked your singing up on stage. You have a great voice," Bucky spoke.

"Oh," Steve replied, going a little rosy. "Thanks," he added. "I'm really glad you came along," he mused.

"Honestly, I did have a pile of work back at my apartment, but thought 'fuck it' it's my weekend, I'll do what I want," Bucky boasted.

"Naughty," Steve crooned, wagging his finger as he grinned.

Bucky chuckled, nervously biting his lip, his tongue gliding along the bottom half. He could see Steve's blue eyes glistening in the light again, long eyelashes framing them perfectly. The brunette remembered those eyes, all too well. All of this was becoming too familiar for him and he knew he had to tone it down a bit, he wasn't allowed to get into anything that could cause problems.

"So, you met my two idiot friends. Were they asking for money? Damn hookers these days," Steve joked.

"Watch your mouth or I'll slap it off your pretty little face," Sam threatened.

It was Bucky's turn to laugh as he buckled against the bar, setting his beer down. Steve was laughing at the brunette also, taking a swig of his beer, the froth settling on his upper lip. Bucky's howls of laughter grew louder as he pointed at Steve, slapping his hand on the wooden surface of the bar. Sam was in hysterics and had fallen back against Thor, face scrunched up as the laughter ripped through him. Steve was dumbfounded.

"What!" he exclaimed. "Is there something on my face?" he asked.

"Just a little frothy at the mouth, my friend," Thor chuckled.

"God dammit," Steve grumbled.

He swiped his lip with his thumb before taking the froth off his thumb with a quick lap of his tongue.

"Much better," he hummed.

Bucky blanched.

"Woah James, you alright there man?" Sam questioned, steadying himself in his seat.

"Yeah, sorry just felt a little queasy," Bucky replied.

"Take your jacket off it's a bit warm in here and you might need something to eat, have you had dinner?" Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head.

"Thor, order him up some food huh?" Steve queried.

Thor nodded kindly.

"Thanks Steve," Bucky sighed.

He knew damn well he wasn't just warm, or hungry, it was obviously Steve. _Him and his stupid tongue. You're doing a great job of keeping it together Buck_ he thought sarcastically.

"Listen, I'm going to head back up on stage and play. Is there a song you want me to play? Anything?" the blonde questioned, hand resting comfortingly on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky thought for a moment, he didn't want to say his favourite song. But dammit he wanted to hear Steve sing it again, just once.

"How good are you at Every Rose Has Its Thorn?" he asked, glancing at Steve, who didn't even bat an eyelash at the song title.

"Pretty good," Steve answered, smiling softly. "I can sing that for you," he added.

"I'd like that," Bucky replied.

The blonde nodded, giving Bucky's shoulder a squeeze as he sauntered off. Bucky watched him, watched the way his hips had a little sway in them. This was harder than he thought, being secretive, acting like Steve was some stranger. He was starting to have doubts on whether he could do this. Steve swung the guitar strap over his neck and moved over to the microphone casually.

"Hi everyone, I'm back again. Let's kick this off again huh?" Steve asked. "This song is for a friend of mine in the audience, James Barnes, enjoy," he added, beginning to play.

_A friend..._

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat.

_But I guess that's why they say. Every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song. Every rose has its thorn._

* * *

><p><em>The group stayed out for longer than they had planned. Once Steve's gig was finished, Sam, Bucky, Thor and Steve decided to do shots and down a few more beers. Sam and Thor parted ways with Bucky and Steve at a crossing, Sam barely awake as Thor helped his friend down the street. Steve's arm had been thrown around Bucky's shoulder as they stumbled up to their apartment block. They broke out into song together, free arms flailing about before they were left cackling like witches. When they had parted to go to their separate apartments, Steve hugged Bucky tightly.<em>

_"Thank you for coming tonight. It was great," Steve mumbled into Bucky's shoulder. "It really took my mind off what today was," he added._

_Bucky hugged the blonde tighter._

_"He would be so happy for you Steve, and so proud," Bucky mused._

_"I hope so," Steve slurred, sniffling slightly._

_Tears ran down his face as he clutched Bucky's jacket firmly._

_"I miss him so much," he whispered weakily._

Now, Bucky sat on his balcony, nursing a mug of coffee in his hand. He woke up with a throbbing headache and aching muscles, but that passed shortly after. His memory was still clear on what had happened last night. The brunette remembered how warm and content he felt being in Steve's arms. He missed the talks they used to have, the stupid arguments, the hugs, everything. Their friendship was like two strong vines entwined together, never to let go.

_"Because I'm with you till the end of the line,"_

_"I'll always be here,"_

_"I'm proud of you,"_

Bucky hadn't noticed he had begun crying, yet again until he felt something dripping onto his hand. He used to be so strong. What was it about Steve that drove him so insane and crippled him? He wiped away the glistening droplets as he took another sip from his coffee, enjoying the bitter taste.

"If only you knew," he sighed.

A door creaked, pulling Bucky's attention away from his sombre thoughts. It was his front door and he clearly remembered closing it last night. His gun sat under a newspaper on the small table, he carefully grabbed it as he sat his coffee down. The brunette stood quietly, gun held tightly in his hands as he made his way to the sliding balcony door. He heard movement inside, heart racing in his chest. The door slammed and Bucky flinched as he peered inside. When he stepped inside, he saw nothing, so he turned back to look behind him. Someone cleared their throat and the brunette spun around at lightning speed, gun ready to fire.

"Stand down Agent Barnes," a voice spoke.

"Phil!" Bucky exclaimed, dropping his gun immediately. "Couldn't you have knocked!" he added.

"I prefer to make a grand entrance," Phil replied.

Bucky groaned as he ran his hand through his hair, the headache starting to come back.

"Why wasn't I able to contact you last night?" Phil asked.

"I was busy," Bucky answered.

Phil flipped through pages of files that sat on Bucky's table.

"Obviously not with this," he issued.

"It's a weekend Phil, I had to go do something fun," Bucky hissed.

"We don't do fun Agent Barnes! We have no time for fun!" Phil snapped. "This is important business!" he exclaimed.

"If it's any consolation I was watching over Steve at the time, seeing as he's the main objective," the brunette mumbled.

"Yes, I'm sure getting drunk as a skunk made you very focused," Phil grumbled.

"I was-" Bucky paused.

"Don't," Phil huffed. "What were you thinking Barnes! You have the earpieces for a reason! This is only going to get harder when we find out who is after Steve!" he spat.

"Harder? I've been through tough situations already!" Bucky yelled.

"Nothing is as serious as this!" Phil hollered.

"What about Tahiti! Remember that, sir!" Bucky roared.

Phil paled.

"It's a magical place," he whispered.

"For you!" Bucky snapped. "Tahiti was magical for you!" he added.

"Agent Barnes," Phil spoke.

"No just shut up for a minute!" Bucky yelled, pointing a metal finger at the older man.

Phil was a little taken aback, fear and guilt washing over his face.

"While you were indulging on fucking Pina Coladas and eating tropical fruits, I was trapped with my team in a cave that was about to collapse!" Bucky ranted, eyes burning with rage.

"I-" Phil paused.

"You said you couldn't reach us, maybe that's because your earpiece wasn't on you! I called for your help! We all did! You yell at me for not having mine! You're such a fucking hypocrite!" the brunette spat.

"Bucky..."Phil sighed.

"Don't! We-I lost three excellent agents that day. They were my family when I had nobody else. They were crushed under rubble and didn't even have time to scream. Don't you dare say this will be hard, because Tahiti was hard," Bucky choked out.

Salty tears welled in his eyes, Bucky always had nightmares of that day, he couldn't shake it.

"Agent Barnes, I understand your frustration," Phil soothed.

"Do you! Do you really? Because you're making me stalk my best friend, you're making me act like a stranger to him. What difference would it make!" the brunette cried.

"It's complicated!" Phil yelled.

"No it's not!" Bucky screamed, veins popping up on his neck. "I know what you did, I understand why now, why I have to pretend," he whispered, shaking his head. "You told Steve..." Bucky gasped, shaking slightly. "You told him I was dead. How could you do that? Why?" he questioned.

"It was for the best," Phil sighed.

"Any other excuse would have been better than that!" Bucky snapped. "How could you put him through so much pain!" he continued, stepping forward.

"It was better to keep you two separated, so you wouldn't get distracted," Phil replied.

"Distracted? What the hell Phil!" Bucky yelled.

"Oh please Barnes, you don't think I saw those glances you stole from each other? Your inseparable bond? The time you spent together just the two of you?" he asked, brows knitting together.

Bucky stared in disbelief, in confusion, he was lost.

"It was nothing like that," he whispered. "We were best friends and I adored him. Don't try and steer this somewhere else Coulson. I can't believe you let that be implanted in Steve's mind. And I can't believe you had Maria in on it too," he spoke, wiping away tears.

"That was her choice," Phil murmured.

"Sure it was," Bucky scoffed.

Phil cracked, jaw clenching slightly as he looked away.

"Show some sympathy sometime, you don't know what it's like," Bucky continued.

The slam of a fist on the wall made him jump, eyes wide. Phil stared at him, chest heaving.

"Of course I know what it's like to feel hurt!" he yelled. "I had an agent betray my trust. An agent who I thought was a very dear friend. But he lied and I don't know where he is now! If I did, I'd punch him in the face! You should know we only really make friends with those in S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve left and we couldn't risk you two crossing paths again!" Phil continued, stepping towards Bucky. "And if you ever speak to me like that again. I will fire you. Do you understand?" he added, eyes burning into Bucky's skull.

The brunette stood down, bowing his head a little.

"Understood, Director," he replied.

Phil nodded firmly, before pulling something out of his pocket. Bucky's eyes fell on a set of silver dog tags, his dog tags.

"Sir," he gasped.

"Don't say I lack sympathy. I went back to Finland and retrieved these for you. I know how much they mean to you," Phil issued, placing them in the brunette's hand.

"Thank you sir," Bucky wavered, metal fingers running over his engraving and Steve's which had 'Till the end of the line' on it.

"I expect these files sorted and back to me in nine hours. Can you do that?" Phil asked.

"Yes Director," Bucky answered.

With that, Phil exited from Bucky's apartment, closing the door gently behind him. Bucky looked down at the dog tags as he wandered back out to the balcony, just as the sun was rising fully. He stared out at the horizon, eyes hurting from the tears, a couple still trapped in the corners of his eyes. A smile crossed his face as he held the tags up, watching them glint in the sun. He could do this. The very core inside him ignited like a roaring fire, his worry replaced by hope, by confidence.

"Till the end of the line, punk," he whispered.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Starting to think Phil's probably been secretly shipping Steve and Bucky this whole time. And if the description of Sam sounds strange to you, blame my friend, I asked her for advice, and she wrote that...so...yes blame her.**


	5. Chapter 3 - Uncovered And Exposed

_**"Silence is the enemy. Against your urgency. So rally up the demons of your soul." - Know Your Enemy - Green**** Day**_

* * *

><p>Monday, the day Steve enjoyed so much. And he was going to enjoy it much more, seeing as tonight Bucky would be going to his for dinner. The past few days were a bit of a rollercoaster for Steve. Bucky seemed to pop up now and again, in the exact same places that he was. It surely couldn't have been a coincidence, it was starting to make the blonde panic. Was Bucky dangerous? Or was he just over thinking things? Steve was on his way to see Natasha, coffees in hand, when he bumped into the last person he expected to see out on a Monday.<p>

"Steve?" Tony spoke.

_God dammit_ he thought.

"Tony," he replied. "Shouldn't you be at work?" he asked.

"Coffee run," the brunette answered.

"You never do coffee runs," Steve retorted.

Tony shrugged.

"I am today, is that a problem?" he questioned.

"No...no, I was just curious," the blonde mused.

An awkward silence fell over them and Steve rolled his eyes, looking away from Tony. He didn't want any of this to be awkward, that's the last thing he needed when he was still working at Stark Industries. Tony could see the nervous twitch in Steve's hand and he smirked.

"How have you been coping?" he spoke.

_Of all the questions_ Steve thought.

"Fine, good actually..." he issued.

"Met anyone new?" Tony asked, pursing his lips.

"I might have," Steve replied, regretting it later.

Who the hell was he supposed to say he was seeing?

"Oh? Does he have a name?" the brunette hummed, sounding a little too disappointed.

"James, his name is James Barnes," the blonde muttered.

_God dammit Steve!_ he thought, mentally slapping himself.

"James huh? Where'd you meet him?" Tony queried.

"He moved in across the hall from me a few weeks ago, when we were still together, instant friends I guess," Steve lied, it'd only been a couple of days.

"So...are you two?" Tony continued, raising an eyebrow.

_Don't say it_ Steve he told himself.

"Yes, we're dating," he blurted out.

_Fuck!_ he screamed in his head.

Tony nodded.

"I see," he issued. "Well, good for you Steve. I'll need to meet him sometime," he added.

"Yeah, maybe," Steve answered.

The brunette smirked again.

"I better get this coffee, see you around Stevie," he hummed, hand brushing the blonde's arm on the way by.

Steve watched him leave, as he let out a relieved sigh and started walking again. Natasha had an office in Manhattan and one in Brooklyn, she was in Manhattan today so Steve had to make the journey out there. He wandered through the doors, being greeted by Natasha's assistant as he signed in, before sitting down. Steve could hear Natasha's soothing voice in the other room, she was one of the best therapists in Manhattan, she was a popular choice for help. After what felt like minutes, the door opened and a young woman stepped out, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Same time next week Anna? Remember, read a nice book before bed, have a warm drink and you should sleep fine, your nightmares will pass," Natasha spoke.

"Thank you Natasha," Anna choked out, going to the reception desk to pay.

Natasha didn't charge her patients much to be seen, that's another reason why so many went to her. Her mossy green eyes fell on Steve as she smiled.

"Hey honey, come on in," she crooned, motioning Steve over.

The blonde stood up and made his way over to Natasha, handing her the coffee.

"Oh, you're such a sweetie," she hummed, squeezing Steve on the arm.

They entered the room as Natasha wandered to her desk and lent against it.

"So, why do I get this visit?" she asked.

"Well," Steve paused, sighing deeply. "Things are getting crazy again Natasha and I can't hold it back," he added.

Natasha's features changed to that of concern.

"Sit down, relax and then start from the beginning," she soothed, placing her coffee down as she grabbed some paper and a pen.

"All my flashbacks of Bucky are happening frequently now. Then, the guy James, he moved in across the hall from me a few days ago. He's really strange, but really nice, he tends to stay reserved sometimes. He covers up his metal arm that he got after an accident. And for some reason he keeps showing up in places that I am. He showed up when I was jogging and something happened when I went to the bathroom. I came back out and this woman was dead and James told me to leave, I did. But I saw these cars with a symbol on them. Then I got flashbacks of letters, so far I only have S, H and I. Then, he showed when I went to visit Bucky's grave, I don't know what's happening," Steve explained.

"Take a breath," Natasha crooned. "Did James tell you where he worked?" she asked.

"Somewhere secretive, a security division, keeping watch on citizens for threats. He didn't go into detail," Steve replied.

Natasha wrote it down.

"Go on," she issued.

"I bumped into Tony before I got here," he mused.

The red head looked up, eyes locking with Steve's.

"And?" she queried.

"He was asking questions and I may have told him a lie," the blonde sighed.

"What did you say?" Natasha grumbled.

"I told him I was seeing someone," he answered.

"Steve!" Natasha exclaimed. "How is that going to work out if he doesn't see you with this said person?" she sighed.

"He will at some point. I told him it was James," Steve mumbled.

"James, the strange guy across the hall. Good idea," she replied sarcastically.

"It's better than nothing," the blonde groaned. "He's coming over for dinner tonight anyway," he continued.

"Have you told James?" Natasha questioned.

"No, haven't seen him today," Steve mused.

"Well you'll need to, or this could go south," she hummed.

"I will, at dinner I will," he assured her.

"I don't like the fact that this James guy seems to be popping up everywhere. That's a bit stalker like. Please keep an eye on him," Natasha issued.

"Well he's shown up a few times than a normal person would, when I didn't expect him to. I think if I see him once more I'm going to have to confront him," Steve replied.

"Steve, I would have confronted him after the second time. Please keep me updated if things get messy. I'll need to meet this James for myself," the red head explained.

"Yeah, I get it," Steve murmured.

Natasha smiled as she patted Steve's hand gently.

"I think you're good to go. Is there anything else you need to ask?" she questioned.

"Yeah, how am I going to pretend James is my boyfriend, that would really awkward. Tony would read us like books," Steve huffed.

"Act normal, show affection, but not too much. And Tony should fall for it," Natasha spoke, squeezing Steve's hand.

"Thanks Nat, you're the best," Steve sighed, happily.

"Anything for my darling Steve," she sang, fluttering her eyelashes.

Steve laughed as he stood up and hugged his friend tightly, kissing her on the cheek lightly.

"I'll text you later about what happens," he hummed, pulling away.

"Alright hun, take care," Natasha replied.

The blonde smirked and made his way to the door as he waved to Natasha, then left. He went to the reception desk to pay, only to have the receptionist say that it was 'on the house' in Natasha's words. Steve wasn't having it, so he left a tip, that made him feel a bit better. As he walked back out into the busy city of Manhattan, he saw grey clouds rolling over, a frown crossing his face.

"They said it would be sunny today," he spoke, to himself.

He shrugged it off as he started on the journey back to his Harley, which he had decided to leave parked outside the coffee shop, which was three streets down. His mind went to thoughts of tonight, he didn't know what he was going to cook, he didn't know what to buy to drink either. Steve took his phone out and hovered over Bucky's name, wondering if he should call him and ask.

"Fuck it," Steve sighed, pressing the call button.

It wasn't exactly the smartest thing for Steve to do, because right across the street, Bucky sat watching him from a bench. When his phone rang, he flinched and answered it quickly before the ringtone echoed in the street.

"Hello?" he spoke.

"Hey James, it's Steve," the blonde replied.

Bucky kept his head low as he stood from the bench and walked up the street. He was going at the exact same pace as Steve and he had to hide his metal hand and hold his phone to his right ear so he could hide that too.

"Hey Steve!" he chimed. "What's up?" he asked.

"I just wanted to know what you'd like to drink with dinner tonight. Wine? Beer? Something else?" Steve asked.

"Wine would be great, then maybe some beer after," Bucky replied.

"Great, is white wine okay?" Steve questioned.

"Perfect," Bucky mused.

"Alright, I'll see you later," the blonde crooned.

"Can't wait," the brunette chuckled.

The call ended and Bucky gave out a sigh of relief as he crossed the street, close behind Steve. His eyes scanned the surrounding area, keeping watch for anyone suspicious. So far there hadn't been and Bucky simply thought it was rotten luck.

"How is your status Agent Barnes?" Phil asked.

Bucky had forgotten he had his earpiece on, but then he remembered he had to ask Phil where Steve would be that morning.

"Keeping a safe distance from Captain. He hasn't shown signs of suspicion, so everything should be alright Director," Bucky explained.

"Good, you're doing well today Barnes," Phil praised.

"Thank you sir," Bucky mused.

"Carry on, update me once Captain is secure," Phil issued.

"Yes sir," Bucky replied, eyes still focused on Steve.

The blonde turned down another street, which Bucky followed him down. He had to hide behind towering signs or in alleyways whenever Steve turned his head. The brunette had always remembered that Steve was pretty paranoid in public sometimes. Steve stopped by his Harley and Bucky stood back, head down as he shrugged the hood of his sweater over his mop of brunette hair. The roar of the Harley rang through the street, a smirk crossing Bucky's face.

"Show off," he scoffed.

Steve sped down the street and Bucky was hot on his toes as he ran across the road to his car. He knew Steve would be heading back home now, but again, he had to follow him in case someone had something plotted for the road. The brunette started the engine, revving it twice, before pulling out onto the road. His car tires screeched on it, leaving a burn mark. Bucky grinned as he followed the route Steve was taking, keeping a safe distance. He really couldn't wait for dinner, the only thing bothering him was that he had to snoop around Steve's apartment.

"You'll be fine Buck, you can do this," he told himself.

One slip up and he'd be exposed to Steve, like a deer being hunted in the woods. That's one thing he couldn't afford.

* * *

><p>Bob Segar blared through the speakers on the new stereo that Bucky had bought. The brunette was pondering about in some loose shorts, his dog tags swinging around his neck. He slid across the floor in his socks, sunglasses propped on his face. He was mimicking a scene from a movie 'Risky Business' that he saw years ago, he loved it. The dance scene was still his favourite part and he always made it tradition to recreate the scene. Steve used to laugh at him all the time when he did it at S.H.I.E.L.D, because Phil would scold them. Those were his favourite times.<p>

_Just take those old records off the shelf_  
><em>I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself<em>  
><em>Today's music ain't got the same soul<em>  
><em>I like that old time rock 'n' roll<em>  
><em>Don't try to take me to a disco<em>  
><em>You'll never even get me out on the floor<em>  
><em>In ten minutes I'll be late for the door<em>  
><em>I like that old time rock 'n' roll<em>

"Still like that old time rock 'n' roll!" he sang, shaking his hips as he wandered over to the balcony.

He opened the glass door to let some air in, the apartment got stuffy most of the time. Bucky had a good few hours to kill before he went over to Steve's place, the short distance that it was. His clothes were lying out on his bed, he didn't want to go too fancy, so decided that smart yet casual would work. Phil gave him a debriefing of what he should be looking for in Steve's apartment. He'd already found the old pictures of himself, but there had to be more hiding there. Bucky had to remember and actually do his job, or Phil would probably have him on probation. That basically meant that he would have another agent come in and check on him, follow him around, and make sure he did his work. Bucky didn't want that because he knew he'd get someone he didn't like. Most likely Agent Grant Ward who he hated with a passion.

"Asshole," Bucky huffed, shuddering at the very thought of him.

A knock at his door startled him as he turned the music down and pushed his sunglasses up on his head. Bucky sauntered over to the door and opened it, his body tensing.

"Clint!" he yelled.

"Hey Bucky!" the brunette replied.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bucky hissed.

"Man, nice to see you too, Agent Barnes," Clint teased.

"Shut up, Agent Barton," Bucky retorted.

Clint grinned, before his eyes trailed down Bucky, an eyebrow raise following.

"Where are your clothes?" he laughed.

"In the washing machine," Bucky huffed. What do you want? Why are you wandering around in S.H.I.E.L.D uniform?" he questioned.

"I'm on duty dumbass," Clint answered. "I came here to see you too but Phil needed me to do a few errands here in Brooklyn too," he continued.

"You need to go! Steve is just across the hall and he might ask questions if he sees you in that uniform!" Bucky exclaimed.

"I didn't come all this way to where Phil wants me without coming to see you first, deal with it," the brunette grumbled.

At that exact moment, Steve's door opened slightly. Bucky panicked as he grabbed Clint's jacket and pulled him inside. Steve saw it all though, his eyebrow raising in question, then falling._ Is James seeing someone already?_ he thought. The blonde shook his head as he threw the thrash into the garbage chute, heading back into his apartment. But not without sporting a bit of a sullen look about him.

"Woah! Hey, hey calm down!" Clint yelled, fixing his jacket.

"I didn't have a choice! Steve was right there!" Bucky snapped.

"You're so edgy these days Bucky," Clint huffed.

"Clint, if Steve finds out I've been spying on his private life and that I'm with S.H.I.E.L.D, I'm screwed. He and I can't go back to how we used to be, that's what Phil said. We can't be Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, the best duo in S.H.I.E.L.D anymore. Steve's a broken mess, he remembers me, and I nearly blew my cover. To him I'm James across the hall, a stranger. I'm not Bucky," he explained.

Clint stared at the brunette with sympathy in his expression, a comforting hand landing on Bucky's shoulder.

"Sorry man, I didn't know it was that bad," he mused.

Bucky smiled sadly.

"It hurts to see him break his heart over me. I'm just some guy," he mumbled.

"Hey, don't say that," Clint replied. "You were his best friend. You were everything to Steve. Hell I ain't judging the guy Bucky but I think he might have had a bit of a y'know...stronger feeling for you than just friendship," he added.

"Don't say that," Bucky growled, shaking Clint's hand off his shoulder. "Phil already implied that something was going on back in the day. It wasn't like that at all. We're just two guys from Brooklyn who have feelings and not stoney, blank expressions everyday like Ward, he's a fucking arrogant ass," he continued.

"Sorry, I'm just saying," Clint whispered.

"Just because you found out I like guys and that Steve dated Tony Stark, doesn't mean Steve and I got up to things. He's my best friend, I wouldn't use him for anything, you hear me?" the brunette lectured.

"Understood," Clint answered.

Bucky now had this dull ache in his chest. Was Steve really breaking his heart over something more than just losing his best friend? He shook the thought away and went into the small kitchen to make coffee.

"You want one?" he asked.

"Please," Clint sighed, in relief.

"So what's happening at head quarters? How's the search going for whoever is out hunting Steve?" Bucky asked.

"We're getting close I think. Phil has me up on patrol most days," the brunette issued.

"Up in your nest Hawkeye?" Bucky teased.

"Nobody calls me that now, it's either Agent Barton this, or Barton that," Clint spoke, sadly, his gaze falling on his hands. "You always called me it," he muttered.

"I'm missed am I?" Bucky chuckled.

"You could say that. Phil always passes by your old room every night. Maria has this sad expression on her face at the mention of you. Me...I just make sure your room stays how it was and I do our traditional game of pool every Friday in the rec room, Phil joins me," he explained.

The brunette felt his heart break. He didn't know he had that affect on people, especially not at S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Ward?" Bucky questioned, bitterly.

"Thinks he's king now and that we should obey his orders and kiss his ass. He's a dick," Clint spat.

Bucky snorted.

"Y'know, himself and Rumlow seem to have become pals overnight. Ward doesn't like working much with others but Rumlow is kind of like him, stoney faced and acts like he's an Alpha. So their similarities have pulled them toward each other," he continued.

"This sounds like it's turning into some homosexual love story between Agent Ward and Agent Rumlow," Bucky replied, placing a mug of coffee in front of Clint.

The brunette choked out a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Honestly, I swear they were making 'goo-goo' eyes at each other," he laughed.

Bucky screwed up his face.

"Nobody says 'goo-goo' anymore Clint, Jesus, also don't put that in my head. That ship is sinking big time," he groaned.

"One true pairing!" Clint sang, waving his hands.

"Please! Don't!" Bucky protested, shaking his head with a laugh. "Come on, come see the view," he mused, gesturing outside to the balcony.

Clint followed behind Bucky, whistling when they stepped out onto the balcony.

"This is lush," he teased.

"I guess," Bucky chuckled. "What about Fitz, how's he doing?" he asked.

"In his own words he misses his wee pal Bucky," Clint answered, putting on a horrible accent.

Bucky nearly choked on his coffee.

"I'm telling him you did a shit impersonation of him," he taunted.

"Do what you want," Clint retorted. "Simmons misses you too. She asks about you everyday," he mused.

"Just because she only has to make sandwiches for Fitz now. You're breaking my heart here Clint," the brunette muttered.

"Sorry, we just think you're the life of the party at S.H.I.E.L.D. I know it gets pretty serious and strict there most of the time. But when we get some free time, it's a blast," he replied.

"I'll drop by soon, I need to see how your research is going anyway," Bucky issued.

"Yeah, speaking of which, I've just been called in," the brunette sighed. "Thanks for the coffee, I'll see you soon huh?" he questioned.

Bucky nodded as they shared a quick hug, before Bucky showed him to the door.

"See ya' around Hawkeye," he chimed, a smirk showing on his face.

"Later Barnes!" Clint called back.

He closed the door after making sure Clint got into the elevator okay, a sigh leaving his lips. Steve was going to be at the gym in an hour and Bucky had to go, Phil's orders. It was a huge local gym, but a guy with a metal arm wouldn't be hard to spot. Bucky just had to take his chances.

* * *

><p>The gym wasn't as busy as it usually was on a Monday. It made Bucky all the more vulnerable to be there. His navy blue shirt clung to him as he did chin ups on one of the bars, his breathing heavy but steady. He had Green Day playing in his ears from his iPod, it kept him motivated while he worked out. Sweat trailed down his forehead, back, neck and chest, he was a glistening, sweaty god if anything. The brunette's hair was tied back into a 'man bun' that seemed to be the trendy thing for long haired men these days, Bucky simply did it to keep his damn hair from his face. His hands suddenly slipped as he pulled up for another chin up, but with his quick reflexes he landed, in a crouch, metal hand pressed to the wooden floor. He looked like a crouching tiger, waiting on its prey to come closer, when he flipped his head up, his eyes narrowed and glinted from the sun shining in.<p>

"Woah, that was awesome," a woman spoke.

Bucky simply smirked at her as he made his way over to the punching bags, putting an extra wrap around his right hand. He cracked the bones in his neck and shoulders, getting into a power stance as he began. His fists pummeled the bag with great force, the chain rattling above him with a loud creak following after. It'd been a while since he'd had a proper workout, he was extremely fired up.

"Will you look at this guy he's a damn machine!" the woman gushed.

The brunette wanted to roll his pretty blue-grey eyes but he was far too focused. A laugh actually tore him away from punching the hell out of the bag as his gaze fell to the other end of the gym. Steve sat at a multi-gym machine, doubled over as he cackled, with Sam directly beside him lighting weights. Bucky had to tear his gaze away, Steve looked too damn good in his gym gear.

"Stay calm and vigilant Buck," he whispered.

Steve had contained himself by then, hands reaching up to grab the chest press.

"So he's going to yours for dinner huh?" Sam asked, giving him a knowing look.

He knew too well that Steve was a bit of a flirt with anybody.

"Yeah, cooking something extra delicious tonight," Steve replied.

"What's cookin' good lookin'?" Sam joked.

"I walked right into that one," Steve scoffed. "I'm cooking pepper sauce steak with oven baked fries," he added.

"Man, that sounds amazing," Sam groaned. "Save me some leftovers," he mused.

"I'll see what I can do," the blonde laughed.

They went back to their regular exercising, until Sam's face squinted at someone in the distance.

"Hey is that James over there?"

Steve turned in the seat of the multi-gym, his eyes searching out the brunette. Sure enough, he was there, wiping sweat from his face as he talked to a woman. She was squeezing his muscly arm and feeling his chest, a pang of jealous unexpectedly rushed through Steve. _What the hell?_ he thought. But then his thoughts went back to what was said earlier by Natasha, he was here again, in the same place Steve was, at the same time. The blonde frowned, this was starting to get a little weird for him. It was right there and then he decided that he was going to confront the brunette at dinner, because at least he was in the safety of his own home then.

"I'm gonna' go say hi," Sam spoke.

"Sam wait," Steve protested.

But his friend was already gone and Steve groaned, letting his head fall back. Natasha was pretty right with her theory, Bucky was showing early signs of a stalker. The blonde felt his blood run cold as he looked over to where Sam was. Bucky looked directly at him and he looked a little pale, it made Steve raise a questioning eyebrow. Sam's hand rested on Bucky's shoulder as he talked to him, gesturing with his hand. Bucky was nodding, a little hesitantly. Steve then saw the pair heading back to where he was.

"God dammit," he whispered.

"Hey Steve," Bucky spoke.

"Hi," Steve replied.

"Didn't expect to see you here, weird huh?" the brunette asked.

_Damn right you creep_ Steve thought. He felt so conflicted, Bucky was so nice, but now from what Natasha said he doesn't know what to think.

"Pretty damn weird," Steve chuckled, biting his lip to hide the sarcastic smirk he wanted to give.

"I'm looking forward to dinner," Bucky mused.

"Me too, it'll be fun," the blonde answered.

"Well I uh-better get back to my workouts and then go home," the brunette issued.

"Hold on a minute, slow down there soldier," Sam interjected.

Steve glanced at Sam, giving him a confused look.

"I want to see you two face off at a push-ups contest," he spoke.

Bucky and Steve scoffed in unison, shooting each other a quick glance.

"Sam, he's obviously busy," Steve muttered.

"I don't mind a challenge," Bucky replied, smiling coyly.

Steve frowned.

"Alright then, you're on," he taunted.

"Make a bet boys," Sam mused.

Bucky tilted his head and smirked.

"If I win, then you owe me a few drinks at the Lemurian Star, not just one or two, a few," he chimed.

"Deal, if I win, you owe me a dance," Steve spoke.

"A dance?" Bucky laughed, shrugging a little. "Fair enough," he added. "Even though I don't know how to dance," he jeered.

"I'll teach you," Steve mused.

"Alright, on the floor, let's get this over with," Sam sighed.

Bucky immediately dropped, legs out and hands pressed to the floor. Clint had trained him on some things when they trained in S.H.I.E.L.D, hell Bucky became like a second Hawkeye. Steve was actually surprised as he got down and flexed himself out. By then, they had drawn in a crowd from the other gym goers. The woman who was 'chatting up' Bucky earlier was watching happily from the sidelines. The blonde felt that annoying pang of jealously again. _Cut it out_ Steve he thought.

"Last man standing wins!" Sam exclaimed.

Bucky looked over at Steve and grinned, giving him a small nod. Steve scowled, but nodded back at him.

"Go!" Sam yelled.

The cheering began as the pair started pushing their bodies and up and down at a steady pace, eyes fixed to the ground. Bucky was being sly and put his right arm behind his back, his metal arm supporting him.

"Isn't that cheating?" Steve breathed out.

"Yeah, I guess it is, sorry Steve," Bucky chuckled, suddenly switching arms.

Steve then did the same, left arm behind his back, right arm pushing his body. He could feel his body straining, but he wasn't going to go down without a fight. The brunette looked over at Steve, grinning as he licked his lips, one bead of sweat sliding down his cheek.

"Come on Steve!" Sam cheered.

The blonde groaned as he used both hands again, he must have done over thirty push-ups by now. His last record was about fifty. But Bucky was showing no signs of stopping. In other words, Steve was screwed.

"Fuck," he hissed, feeling a sudden twinge in his back.

Bucky saw the pain spread on his face and he stopped immediately, disappointed groans erupting around him.

"Hey hey! Steve, stop you're gonna' hurt yourself!" he yelled.

Steve dropped to the floor, feeling the twinge again, his face contorting in pain as he rested his head in his arms. Bucky was by his side in seconds, resting his hand on the blonde's back.

"Easy pal," he soothed.

He didn't have enough fight in him to tell the brunette to back off. His breathing was laboured as he lay there on the floor. Tears stung at his eyes, he couldn't believe how weak he'd gotten lately.

_"Come on pal, you gotta' keep up!"_

Steve closed his eyes as Bucky's voice rang in his head. Bucky was always his motivation and he felt like he'd failed his best friend in some way.

"Steve, you okay man?" Sam questioned.

"Fine," Steve choked out.

"What a wimp," the woman Bucky had met laughed.

"Back off!" Bucky roared, glaring at her.

Steve couldn't help but smile a little. He was a nice stalker if anything. It made him laugh a little inside.

"Thanks James," he whispered.

"Can you get up now?" the brunette asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine really, I just didn't stretch beforehand," Steve wavered.

Bucky held his hand out to Steve as he helped him up, relief washing over his face. He hated seeing Steve in pain, he always had.

"Maybe a heat pack for a few hours will ease the kink," Bucky issued.

"Better still come over for dinner," Steve replied.

"I still owe you that dance," the brunette teased.

"I was joking about that," the blonde answered.

Bucky shrugged.

"I still owe you, I'm not kidding," he whispered.

Steve couldn't help but smile as the crowd dispersed. He still had a dull ache in his back, a heat pack sounded great.

_"Why do you trust him? You shouldn't..."_

He shook the voice away from his mind. Steve should have just talked to Bucky there and then. But causing a scene wasn't exactly on his list of things to do.

"C'mon man, I'll take you home," Sam crooned, fussing around Steve like a mother duck.

Bucky chewed back his laughter.

"See you later?" Steve questioned.

"See ya' later," Bucky replied, sneaking a wink at Steve.

_Fucking dammit Barnes! Not professional!_ he thought, scolding himself.

The pair gathered their belongings as Bucky waved goodbye. He let out a heavy sigh as he went back over to his bag. His eyes caught on to a strip of paper, a number scrawled on it. He rolled his weary eyes.

"That woman," he huffed.

He could feel her eyes watching him intently, so he casually picked up the paper and screwed it into a ball.

"Sorry doll, I don't swing that way," he spoke, nodding at her.

He'd surely get labelled an asshole for being so discreet. But he wasn't interested, he wasn't interested in anybody, not any women anyway, nor any men...or so he thought. His gaze avoided hers as he packed up his gear, he didn't have the energy to do anymore workouts. The brunette was more worried about Steve really. And the change in his tone when he spoke to him was a little off putting. Was he doing something wrong?

* * *

><p>Everything was set out perfectly come night time. Steve was feeling a lot better after laying down for a few hours with a heat pack. If anything, he was glad Bucky had been there to offer him the advice. He felt a little guilty now for the fact that Natasha had installed it into his brain that Bucky meant danger. He'd approach him calmly about it, if he could. Jazz filtered through the apartment as Steve stood in his bedroom, fixing the buttons on his shirt. He went with a smart look, but not overly smart. A simple maroon coloured button up and black pants did him fine, his hair combed like the men had in the forties, he loved it. When he stepped out of his bedroom, he could smell the steak sizzling away at a low heat on the cooktop.<p>

The lights were on a dim setting, and a candle burned on the small dining table, the flame flickering up and down. Steve thought it looked like a bit much, but the dim light allowed the city lights outside to stand out more, this wasn't a date. _Hell no_ he thought. He needed to stop with relationships for a while, ever since Tony he couldn't handle the stress when he thought about it. His eyes scanned the table, it was covered with a plain red tablecloth and he had plates and cutlery sitting out. He never usually went to great lengths for dinner, usually he parked his ass on the couch and watched TV.

"It'll be fine Steve," he sighed.

The wine was cooling in a bucket of ice on the kitchen counter, condensation rolling onto the countertop. It was a few minutes past the time that they'd arranged, but Steve wasn't really picky for time. The blonde walked over to the balcony as he unlocked the doors from the locks and pushed them to each side, opening the whole apartment up. Brooklyn looked magnificent at night and Steve marvelled in the sight.

"Amazing," he whispered.

Loud knocking sounded at the door, making Steve jump slightly as he turned around. He took a deep breath as he smoothed down his shirt and made his way to the door. Steve sported the widest smile when he opened the door.

"Hey," Bucky spoke, grinning a little.

He looked stunning and Steve couldn't actually help but think that. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he looked Bucky up and down. His hair was down, but neatly brushed and his cologne was musky, but it was a nice musk, Steve liked musky. He had a navy blue button up on with a grey waistcoat and black pants. The blonde felt a bit of a blush start on his neck as it worked it's way up to his face.

"Hi," he replied, sounding a little husky.

"Did you sprint to the door?" Bucky joked, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"I-" Steve paused. "Sorry, Jesus, you look great. I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm rambling again," he grumbled.

Bucky chuckled.

"Back at ya'," he mused. "How's the back?" he asked.

"Better, thanks to the heat pack," Steve answered.

The brunette smiled.

"Anyway, come in, come in," Steve chuckled, stepping to the side.

"Thanks," the brunette replied, wandering into the apartment.

His eyes widened as he looked around the room, taking in the sights, the smells of food, the mood.

"Well...wow, this is nice," he commented, turning back to Steve.

"Hope it's not too much, or really weird," Steve issued, going into the kitchen to check on dinner.

"No it's...fine," Bucky breathed out, placing a bag down on the table.

_A candle? Wow Steve_ he thought.

"So, I hope you like steak, because that's what we're having. With pepper sauce and fries," the blonde spoke.

"That sounds perfect to me," Bucky soothed. "I uh, brought some wine and dessert. Felt bad after what happened at the gym," he added.

_God dammit he's really sweet!_ Steve thought.

"What kind of dessert?" he questioned.

"Caramel Crème brûlée," the brunette issued.

Steve nearly dropped the knife he had in his hand, his jaw tightening as his stomach churned. He and Bucky used to eat Crème brûlée together, every Saturday.

"You okay Steve?" Bucky asked, sensing the tension.

"Fine, just...damn onions," he choked out, trying to hold back the tears.

"You're not cutting any onions," Bucky replied.

The blonde wanted to hit his head against a wall for being such an idiot.

"Bucky and I used to eat Crème brûlée on Saturdays," he mumbled.

_Oh shit, how could I have forgotten that!_ Bucky thought.

"I'm so sorry, we don't have to eat them," he crooned.

"No it's okay," Steve sighed, shakily. "It'll be nice to try one again since I haven't had one since I lost Buck," he added.

Bucky's face fell, heart sinking to his stomach. He couldn't get over how torn Steve was about him, he really he wanted to hug him now. Steve let out a quiet sob, wiping his eyes with his sleeve as he tried to get back to cooking. Phil's words of keeping it professional were running through Bucky's head, but he couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of guilt. _Screw it_ he thought. Once again, Bucky broke the code. The brunette went over to Steve and gently wrapped his arms around the blonde. Steve tensed a little, then relaxed, lip trembling a little as he looked down at his hands.

"It's alright Steve," Bucky mumbled.

It probably wasn't the best of places to stand, his body pressed right against Steve, but it was comforting for the blonde. Steve wiped the tears away, palms resting on the counter once more.

"Thanks," he whispered. "Sorry, I shouldn't be doing this, it's ruining dinner," he added.

"Steve, you don't need to bottle it up because I'm here. You lost someone close to you, I understand," the brunette mused.

He hated lying to Steve, he wasn't lost, just to Steve he was. Steve simply nodded as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I needed that hug," he laughed weakly.

Bucky stepped back then rubbed Steve's back soothingly in small circles.

"You okay now?" he asked.

"Yeah," Steve replied.

"Come on, let's crack open that wine," Bucky chimed.

"Dinner shouldn't be too long," Steve answered. "You can do the honours," he soothed, turning back to prep some salad.

The brunette smiled slightly as he opened the wine and grabbed the two glasses that Steve had sitting out. His eyes scanned the countertop as he saw letters and other things, his gaze trying to look discreet as he looked for anything important. But there was nothing. Steve mixed the lettuce and tomato in a light sauce as he turned the steak over, turning the heat off and leaving it to sit. He walked to the oven and pulled out the fries, placing them on a mat to cool down. Bucky slid the glass of wine over to him and he took it gratefully, holding it up.

"A toast. To new neighbours," he mused.

"To new neighbours," Bucky replied, as they clinked the glasses together.

"So uh, I gotta' ask...that guy at your apartment earlier. Is he your-" Steve paused.

Bucky's eyes widened as he choked back some wine, he knew Steve must have seen it.

"Clint? No, god no, he's not my boyfriend, fiancé or husband. Not married," he issued. "We aren't dating. He's a friend from work," he explained.

"Oh," Steve gasped, his mouth shaped into a perfect 'O' as he blinked. "Oh god...I am-" he stopped briefly. "So sorry, I shouldn't have judged you by what I saw," he added.

"It's alright," Bucky laughed.

"So...not your boyfriend?" Steve asked.

"No, definitely not," Bucky muttered.

"Do you...have one?" the blonde questioned, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks.

"No..." Bucky drawled, raising an eyebrow.

_What's with all the questions?_ he thought.

"Do I need to have one?" he asked, trying to sound sarcastic.

"No I just-you're a good lookin' guy and I just thought maybe...oh my god, please tell me to stop, this is embarrassing," Steve groaned.

Bucky laughed again, swirling the wine in his glass.

"If you're trying to lead onto a question of what flavour I prefer, I prefer men," he answered.

Steve blushed furiously.

"I wasn't-" he sighed. "I am the biggest idiot," he huffed. "I get awkward when I try to get to know people," he continued.

"I understand," Bucky hummed.

"Anyway, you ready for dinner?" the blonde queried.

"Starving," Bucky replied, smiling softly.

He nodded as he hurried to get the plates from the table, the blush still prominent on his cheeks as he tugged at his shirt collar. Bucky wandered over to the table and sat down, back facing the wall as he looked out at the view.

"You've got a great view," he spoke.

"You don't?" Steve asked, serving up the food.

"I do, but yours is better," Bucky crooned.

"Thanks I suppose," Steve chuckled.

His hands shakily grabbed the plates and he frowned, telling himself to calm the hell down. Bucky's gaze fell on him as he sauntered over and placed the plate down. The brunette's eyes widened a little, his lips parting as the smell hit his nose.

"This smells great Steve," he issued.

"Dig in," the blonde replied.

And Bucky did, the juicy tender steak melted in his mouth and he couldn't suppress the moan that escaped. Steve hung his head, biting his lip as he cut into his steak. He did tend to get a little shy when people clearly enjoyed his cooking, he expected them to hate it, he didn't think he was a good cook half the time.

"How is it?" he questioned, looking up at the brunette.

"Steve this is...my god, it's wonderful. It's so tender and juicy and the pepper sauce gives it more flavour and these fries are the friggin' best. You're like a master chef," Bucky commented, letting out another satisfied moan. "It's just delicious, fuck," he cursed. "Oh shit, sorry," he continued, dropping his fork and covering his mouth. "говно," _Shit_ he muttered.

Steve tried to hide his laughter but he couldn't. He put his fork down also as he turned in his chair, and began laughing hysterically.

"You looked like someone out of a comedy movie!" he exclaimed.

Bucky snorted.

"I'm really sorry," he answered.

"Don't be, I swear too," Steve chuckled.

Silence. It irritated Bucky so much.

"You speak Russian huh?" the blonde mused.

"I spent some time there once," Bucky replied.

Steve smiled.

"Bucky went to Russia for a while, I can't remember what for because of my amnesia. But, he became really fluent in it," he whispered.

The brunette knew exactly what Steve was talking about. It was a few months after he had joined S.H.I.E.L.D, he got sent out on a solo mission to Russia. Steve tried to go with him, but a solo mission meant you literally went on your own and put your life at risk, no questions asked. He remembers when he got back safely, Steve wouldn't let go of him as he cried on his shoulder with relief in the comfort of their shared room. It was a bad time for Steve.

"Did he teach you any?" Bucky questioned, taking a sip of wine.

Bucky knew he had, but had Steve remembered?

"да, немного," _Yes, a little_ Steve replied.

Bucky nearly started crying with joy. Steve remembered the Russian he had taught him.

"Hey, you alright?" Steve asked, worriedly.

The brunette saw his metal arm trembling a little as he grabbed it tightly to stop it. It did it from time to time when Bucky got overwhelmed.

"Yeah, fine, I think I need a freshen up. Where's your bathroom?" he murmured.

"On your left when you go into my bedroom." Steve answered.

"Thanks," Bucky chimed, standing up quickly.

He tried to act natural as he hurried to Steve's room, the door swinging over a little to block Steve's view. Bucky pondered around the room, moving things quietly and looking under Steve's bed and furniture for anything that might stand out to him. _This isn't okay_ he told himself.

"Agent Barnes, are you there?" Phil's voice called in the earpiece.

"Here sir, I'm in Captain's bedroom," he whispered.

"Anything?" Phil asked.

"Nothing so far," Bucky mused.

"Look in his underwear drawer," Maria interjected.

"Hill!" Phil scolded, like a grumpy parent.

"You're joking right?" Bucky grunted.

"No, not really," Maria answered.

"Christ," Bucky sighed. "I'm sorry Steve," he added.

When he pulled the top drawer open he felt his face flush crimson red.

"American flag underwear, seriously Steve?" he spoke.

Maria could be heard giggling on the other end, Phil scolding her again. The brunette shoved the briefs aside, his eyes suddenly falling on a leather journal, hidden right in the corner.

"I found a journal," he issued.

"Pocket it," Phil ordered.

"Director this could be private," Bucky muttered.

"It could save Steve's life!" he barked.

Bucky rolled his eyes as he slipped the journal into his pants pocket, luckily it was a small journal. He closed the drawer and wandered into the en-suite, he didn't exactly know if he'd find anything there. His eyes searched the cabinet beside the mirror, seeing bottles of pills and shaving cream, a few razors on the shelf underneath. The pills made him concerned as he picked them up.

"Anxiety, insomnia-" he paused, his face paling. "Depression..." he breathed out. "Oh Steve," he whispered.

"Find anything interesting?" a rough voice spoke.

Bucky flinched, dropping the bottles on the floor as they rolled to the doorway. Steve lent against the door frame, arms crossed tight over his broad chest. His stare was hard and his eyes remained steely and blank on Bucky's. _Oh fuck_ Bucky thought.

"Steve," he mumbled.

"Get out here," Steve ordered. "Now!" he yelled.

The brunette followed Steve out to the main room again like a misbehaving puppy, with its tail between its legs. Steve stopped and turned around abruptly.

"Who the hell are you and what do you want!" he roared, eyes blazing.

"Steve I can explain," he whispered.

"You better give me a damn good reason buddy!" he spat.

Bucky had suddenly switched into full agent mode, his hands held up in defence and surrender.

"Sir, I'm with S.H.I.E.L.D," he confessed.

"Sir? What the hell am I an army Captain?" he laughed sarcastically.

"It's my job! It's part of our code!" Bucky exclaimed.

"So that's who was at the park? S.H.I.E.L.D!" Steve screamed. "All those men and women dressed in fancy suits or uniforms!" he added. "Who the hell are they!" he roared.

Bucky hated that Steve was so confused about all this. He was screwed now, he blew his cover and Phil was going to kick his ass for it.

"We're here to protect you!" he snapped.

"Protect me? I don't need protecting!" Steve bellowed.

"Someone is after you Steve. To kill you," Bucky replied.

Steve blanched.

"Barnes what are you doing!" Phil yelled.

"I watched you at Tony Stark's office, someone was going to walk into the building with a gun, and try to kill you. I confronted him but he turned the gun on himself. I followed you most of the time, to make sure you were away fro harm. Because that's my job. That day at the park, that woman, she was going to kill you too. But because I caught her, she died also. She said 'cut off one head, two more shall take its place' and I had to forward that on to my Director, he is the one I speak to in my earpiece. You're in danger Steve, and I am here to make sure you live," Bucky explained.

"Oh my god," Steve gasped. "Oh my god, no, no," he whispered, raking his hands through his hair. "Why do they want me dead?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'm sorry I lied. I'm so sorry but I had to try and stay undercover but I guess I've messed that up and I'll pay for it. Please believe me," the brunette pleaded.

"I-I can't...this is too much. I thought I could trust you!" the blonde cried out.

"You can trust me! Dammit Steve we're here to help," the brunette hissed.

"Barnes you've got a rogue one at 9 o'clock!" Maria howled suddenly.

Bucky's heart lurched in his chest, head snapping to the side. At the apartment block across from Steve's, a hooded figure stood on the balcony, a gun pointed right at them.

"Agent Barnes!" Phil called.

He raced forward, tackling Steve to the ground as the shot was fired. A pained scream filled the room. Bucky had taken the hit.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Cliffhanger, I always do love them. Don't fret, Bucky should be fine. There's going to be some action in the next chapter, an epic car chase I guess you could say. And things are going to get tense between Phil and Bucky. And Ward and Rumlow are going to be there pestering him too. It's going to get intense.**


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